Going through a divorce can be an overwhelming and difficult process for the whole family. Not only are the partners having to deal with the legal process and the emotional weight of filing a divorce, but they are also presented with the challenge of breaking the news to their children. Talking to your kids about a divorce must be done with careful consideration and must be approached with love, empathy, and honesty. While there is no defined way in which parents should tell their kids that they are getting a divorce, there are some general guidelines and tips that partners are encouraged to implement that we will further discuss in this article.
Talk To Your Children Together
If possible, you will want to talk to your children about the divorce together. Although this may be difficult for you and your partner to do, hearing the news from both parents will be meaningful and likely more fruitful. Before having the conversation, it is advised that partners discuss how they will approach the discussion and prepare themselves for any questions or further clarifications that the children may have. By having this conversation together, parents also avoid having a one-sided or biased discussion in which they put down or blame the other partner. It is pivotal that you avoid victim-blaming either your partner or your children during this important discussion.
Be Honest
Perhaps, the most important thing to keep in mind when talking to your children about divorce is to be honest. The last thing you want to do is lie to your children about details regarding the divorce, only for them to find out years later that these details were untrue. Therefore, be honest, within reason, and be mindful of age-appropriateness. For younger children, it is just fine to give them a simple explanation without getting into the nitty-gritty details as it is unlikely that they will understand what they mean. For older children, however, giving more details may be helpful in their understanding and acceptance of the divorce.
Listen
After you have initially let your child know that you and your partner have decided to get a divorce, it is imperative that you give them their space and time, and most importantly, listen. Your child will likely experience a myriad of emotions ranging from sadness, anxiety, and anger, to relief and confusion. Therefore, it is important that you be there to listen to them, validate their feelings, allow them to ask questions, and provide support in any way you can. In some cases, children may need outside support, such as from a licensed therapist, as well.
Prepare Them for Changes
Another thing that you will want to make sure you do when talking to your kids about the divorce is to prepare them for any impending changes. This may include logistical information such as living arrangements, parenting time, custody arrangements, and any routines that may be altered moving forward. While you do not necessarily need to bombard them with all this information at once, especially since emotions will likely be elevated already, it is important that you address all of these important changes from the start.
Moving Forward
Going through a divorce is in and of itself a difficult process, and having to deliver the news to your children can be a dreaded and challenging obstacle that you and your partner must overcome. However, by adopting some of these aforementioned tips into the delivery of your message, you will be taking a step in the right direction and the process will hopefully be eased as well. To help reduce the stress involved in the legal process, it is important that you hire a qualified and experienced Manassas divorce lawyer to help ensure that your rights are protected, that the best interest of your children is considered, and that the divorce is fair and equitable.Â
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