As parents and caregivers, we want to build strong connections and communication with the children in our lives. Active listening is a critical skill that allows us to truly understand kids’ perspectives, validate their feelings, and strengthen our relationships. By improving our listening skills and creating an open, judgment-free environment, we can build trust and mutual understanding. Keep reading for ten tips to become a better listener so you can better connect with children.
- Get Your Hearing Tested
Before we can effectively listen, we need to address any hearing difficulties that may physically impair our ability to listen well. It’s important to have your hearing evaluated regularly by specially trained staff. Build hearing checks into your regular health exams and be aware of any difficulties hearing normal volumes or tones. Ear wax buildup is a common culprit and can often be remedied with over-the-counter ear drops or professional removal. For more significant hearing loss, hearing aids can be life-changing. The right hearing aids amplify sounds at needed frequencies so you can pick up conversation more easily. Don’t let untreated hearing loss create an invisible barrier between you and the child you want to connect with
- Make Eye Contact
Maintain comfortable eye contact while the child is speaking to show you are engaged. Avoid distracted glances at phones, TVs or other screens that signal your attention is divided.
- Paraphrase What You Hear
Periodically restate key points you heard in your own words. This shows active listening and allows the child to clarify anything you may have misinterpreted.
- Ask Open Ended Questions
Ask questions that require more than a simple yes/no response. Use prompts like “Tell me more about…” or “What did you think of…” to encourage deeper discussion.
- Minimise Distractions
Give the child your full focus during conversations. Turn off any TVs, music or devices in the background and choose a calm setting without too many other people talking.
- Be Patient
It can be difficult at times, but it’s important to be patient with children. Give adequate time for the child to gather their thoughts before responding. Silent pauses are OK – resist the urge to interrupt or finish the child’s sentences.
- Use Body Language to Show Interest
Another great tip is to show interest with your body language. Nod, smile, and lean in slightly to demonstrate engaged listening. Avoid crossed arms or checking the time.
- Validate Their Perspective
Comments like “I understand why you feel that way” help kids feel heard and understood, even if you have a different viewpoint.
- Ask Follow-Up Questions
If a child mentions something interesting, ask for more details. This shows care and concern.
- Express Appreciation
Thank the child for opening up. This positive reinforcement will make them want to continue communicating with you.
Strong listening skills are fundamental for meaningful connections with children. By using these tips, we can gain a deeper understanding and strengthen our relationships. Prioritise any needed improvements in hearing and commit to actively employing these listening strategies. With patience and practice, you can become the caring, receptive listener that children desperately need in their lives.
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