Parenting is hard enough when you share the responsibility with a spouse or partner living with you. It becomes even harder when you have to stick to court rules while co-parenting from different houses.
If you are new to co-parenting, you will make many mistakes, as all parents do. However, if you have court rules to adhere to, you cannot afford to make certain mistakes.
This is also why communication is key when co-parenting. Misunderstandings due to a lack of communication can lead to unnecessary drama and conflict.
What Are Connecticut’s Co-Parenting Laws?
Connecticut courts prioritize children’s best interests when laying down rules regarding custody and visitation arrangements. Factors considered include:
- The child’s age and health status
- The child’s developmental requirements
- The quality of the relationship between each parent and the child
- The stability of the child’s current environment
- Any history of domestic violence
The court that makes the rules regarding co-parenting for your children will also consider their wishes, depending on their age. Moreover, the court will ensure that you and your estranged or ex-spouse can sufficiently provide for your children’s physical and emotional needs.
Types of Custody in Connecticut
In Connecticut, the two types of lawful custody are physical custody and legal custody.
Legal custody refers to a parent’s right to make major decisions regarding a child’s upbringing, ranging from where they will go to school and receive medical care to the primary religion of the household. Physical custody determines where a child will live most of the time.
Joint legal custody is the default in Connecticut, although there are exceptions). If you are awarded joint legal custody, you and your ex-partner must agree on major decisions.
If you are awarded physical custody, it can be sole or shared custody. The ultimate decision depends on your unique circumstances.
Creating a Co-Parenting Plan
When it comes time to create a co-parenting plan, you cannot just scribble some rules on a piece of paper. A parenting plan, though not required by the court, must be a written and signed agreement that outlines all custody and visitation arrangements and decision-making responsibilities.
The point of a parenting plan is to help reduce conflict between you and your partner. If both parents can co-parent in peace, it provides much-needed stability for children.
Your co-parenting plan should include:
- Clear definitions of custody arrangements (custody schedules are often required)
- Visitation schedules, where applicable
- An agreement on when and how major decisions must be made
- Rules for communication between parents
- A plan for handling potential disagreements
Both you and the other parent must abide by this plan. If one or both of you deviate from the established rules, it could lead to severe conflict. Furthermore, if the conflict continues, you may need to seek the help of a family attorney.
Child Support
Child support will form part of your co-parenting plan. Generally speaking, child support is the obligation of the non-custodial parent. Connecticut uses child support guidelines to calculate the amount payable each month. Factors that affect child support payments include:
- Whether both parents have a stable income
- The number of children
- The overall cost of childcare
- Medical insurance expenses
- Established extracurricular activities like sports, dance, art, etc.
Can a Child Support Order Be Modified?
A child support order may be flexible in the sense that it can be modified as your circumstances change. However, you will need to prove these changes for the modification to be made.
For instance, if you relocate and share legal joint custody of your children, the child support order and co-parenting plan must change.
If your income substantially changes, the order must be modified. The same goes for changes in your child’s needs.
Co-Parenting Challenges
Just because you have a co-parenting plan or child support order in place does not mean you will co-parent without any challenges. There is a reason you and your spouse or partner are no longer together. Those reasons will likely remain a point of contention and may spill over into your co-parenting efforts.
The best way to overcome these challenges is to maintain effective communication at all costs. While communicating, you and the co-parent must continue prioritizing your children’s well-being. Your differences must not get in the way of this.
If it becomes clear that you cannot resolve a specific issue, seek professional help from a family attorney.
Above all, always protect your children from conflict between you and the co-parent. Refrain from negative comments around your children, and do not try to alienate them from the co-parent.
Seeking Legal Advice
Understanding Connecticut’s laws and rules and working with a co-parent can make co-parenting work. This will help maintain a permanently positive and supportive environment for your children.
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