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If a man entices an unmarried maid to lie with him, he must marry her unless the father refuses, in which case the man must pay him market price for virgins – commanded by God in Exodus 22

With all of the Chick-Fil-A controversy, a lot of talk about the “biblical definition of marriage” has been floating around. Some even call it “traditional marriage”. For me, this is a bit comical. In the bible, men have more than one wife. So why don't these anti-equality folks just simply say they're anti-equality? Why don't they just come out and tell us that they were the ones fighting against equality for African Americans not too long ago? Oh, but they're not racist, they have a black friend. Just like they're not homophobic, because they have a gay friend. Please. If you're anti-equality, you're just a big jerk. There's no nice way to put that.

Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. {Leviticus 20:9}

You think that YOU deserve more rights than I do? And why? Who made you BETTER than me? Oh wait, nobody did. Even your god wouldn't do that. So why is it that you think of me as a second-class citizen? Why is it that you think you deserve happiness, and all of the rights granted that come with marriage, but I don't?

What have I ever done to you to make you fight against my rights?

I hate when people quote the Bible, because it's all just so confusing. I used to be a Sunday School teacher and I struggled with this daily, because the Bible will say one thing and the church will do another. Then the Bible will say something else but the church will follow it. It's like cherry-picking, all the time. “Oh that's the Old Testament we don't follow that” – yet in every gay marriage debate, ever, there are quotes from Leviticus thrown around. Hiding behind the Bible as an excuse to hate – I'd say that is playing with fire.

Kill anyone with a different religion. {Deuteronomy 17:2-7}

I don't know where this came from, but it's been floating around for years and I love it.

Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

Why do I have to follow laws created because of a belief in a god that says these things:

Kill old men, young men, old women, young women, and children. {Ezekiel 9:6}

Also, it's okay to own slaves in the Bible, but when that is discussed, people say “times have changed”. So why isn't that the same case with gay marriage? Traditional, Biblical Definition of marriage? The Bible is so confusing I don't think anyone could truly understand all of it. It's contradictory, and the bottom line is, if you believe in Jesus and claim him as your personal savior, you'll make it to heaven. That's the bottom line. So why in the world are so many christians so worried about gay marriage and trying so hard to keep it from being legal?

Great read: If you oppose marriage equality, what else do you expect me to call you?

You can’t say I love my black friends, but I don’t think they should be allowed to marry white people… without simultaneously being a racist.
It doesn’t matter how big of a smile you put on your face, or how many gay friends you (think you) have, or how often you’ve gone to a gay pride parade.
If you’re voting against marriage equality, you’re a bigot. If you’re denying somebody a right that you possess — for no rational basis whatsoever — I don’t know what else to call you. There’s not a single, credible, non-religious reason to deny equal rights to gay people.

If a man dies before his wife has a child, then the widow must marry her husband’s brother. It is commanded by God in Deuteronomy 25

Before this post gets too long, I'm going to close with these thoughts:

You're either for equality, or you're against it. Chick-Fil-A is obviously against it, but what they don't realize is that they are hurting themselves. Because the bigots that are supporting them right now, some of them are going to realize they are WRONG, and they're going to come to the other side. Some of them are going to realize Chick-Fil-A is actually supporting PRO-GAY companies like Coca-Cola (and more – see image below). And a few may stick around and stand behind CFA's hate, but eventually the CEO/CFO of a company grows old and dies. The ones coming up in his footsteps may evolve, but it may be too late. You cannot survive in this country as a large business supporting hate campaigns.

So to answer the question: Can I? Do I? Will I support the “Biblical Definition of Marriage”?


sara palin chick fil a

Before the comments come in, I'm putting this IN BIG LETTERS. I do NOT WANT TO HEAR about “free speech”. The issue is NOT about freedom of speech – it's about CFA funding hate campaigns with OUR money. Supporting traditional marriage is just a way to say anti-gay marriage. Anti-gay marriage = anti-equality. Anti=HATE

Tags : rants
Sadie Mae is a Lifestyle blogger living in Arizona with her three daughters. Her passions including traveling, healthy living, and teaching women how to work from home so they can spend more time with their kids.


  1. Beautifully written.
    As a straight, married female, I don’t see my marriage as a traditional one. We were both previously married, I entered into our marriage with children that were born out of wedlock. We married in a courthouse. These people that say that allowing those in the Gay community to marry is ruining the sanctity of marriage make me laugh. Celebrities are doing that. They make a joke out of being married. It’s something I take seriously, but that doesn’t mean that you, as a lesbian, will take it any less serious.
    This is why I struggle with religion, or possibly why I find it hard to let go of the logically side of me and simply have faith. Because I see so much hypocrisy and it saddens me.
    Sadie, you and Rachel have my vote to marry. But sadly, I’m just one voice.

  2. This was a great post! I do not understand the Bible and never have claimed to. I think it’s full of contradictions and hooey, but that’s my personal opinion. There are so many HETERO marriages that are shams and jokes, but yet GAY marriages will destroy the institution of marriage?…Eff that! I hated Chik-fil-a to start with..now I have a BETTER reason then crappy chicken!

    A+ post!

  3. Thank you for bringing this debate back to reality. It’s not a case of free speech. The issue isn’t that gay supporters share their opinion, so “traditionalists” should be ableable to too. CFA’s statement of that nature made me want to scream and tear my hair out. This is is an issue of equal eights vs hate and bigotry, plain and simple. We’ll said!

  4. I agree with you but unfortunately bigots will never see that they’re actually bigots. “I don’t hate anyone but I’m against gay marriage” okay so you don’t want them to be treated equally but that is somehow something other than hate? Whatever.

  5. Given how much the Bible appears to have gotten wrong, has anyone stopped to consider that maybe the Bible was wrong about homosexuality? Maybe it’s HETEROSEXUALITY that God can’t stand. Did anyone think of that? In which case, I’ll have to ditch my girlfriend in a hurry and… and…

    No. I can’t do it with a guy. I just can’t!

    Holy crap, I may be going to hell.


  6. Sadie, since these comments are moderated I don’t think there’s any harm in suggesting you reconsider your stance on about allowing a discussion of free speech, since you can simply choose not to let this comment through if you don’t want to. I think the First Amendment is inextricably linked to the Chick-fil-A issue whether we like it or not. As someone who has been fighting for free speech since I was 13, I can tell you that people on both sides of the issue have some serious misconceptions about what is and is not guaranteed by the First Amendment. I also feel very passionately that if we do not allow for an open discussion, we won’t have a chance to change any minds. I think the backlash against Chick-fil-A has caused Dan Cathy to reconsider voicing his views, but unspoken prejudices will remain in people’s minds and hearts, and will ulitmatley affect their actions. I sincerely doubt Dan Cathy is among those we can reach, but there are others. As I said, if you are offended by my comment then just don’t let it through. That will tell me you’re not willing to allow this line of discussion. It’s your blog, your property, and therefore your call.

    1. I allow all comments through as long as people aren’t being complete assholes. :)

      I put that at the bottom of the post because I am SICK and TIRED of people saying “CFA has a right to free speech”. Yeah, of course they do, but when they fund HATE campaigns, they’re gonna get major backlash. They can’t be using OUR money to fund their hate campaigns and get away with it. Sure, maybe if their chicken sandwiches came with a disclaimer that they’re helping fund a campaign against my equality, then I’d be okay with it – but they didn’t exactly TELL anyone what they were doing with their $$ and therein lies the problem.

  7. Damn. I was hoping you just wouldn’t let that one through, because then I would just go to bed and get the sleep I so desperately need. You should know by now if someone gives me an opening I will take it. I am an addict and you are enabling me!

    The Chick-fil-A controversy became a First Amendment issue when the mayors of Chicago, Boston, and San Francisco all threatened to deny zoning permits to the fast food company on the basis of Dan Cathy’s stated beliefs. They have no business doing that. What they are threatening is unconstitutional and un-American. It’s also dangerous in the extreme. Denying someone their rights under the First Amendment is like going to a part of town where violent criminals are known to hang out, placing loaded guns on the sidewalk and then thinking you’re protected because you kept one of the guns for yourself. The moment you set the precedent that the government can revoke our First Amendment rights, regardless of how noble the intent (although I doubt the intentions of these mayors are as pure as they’d have us believe) you create the danger that at some point you’ll be the one who is silenced. The government is always trying to take away our First Amendment rights. I’ve fought this fight many times and expect I’ll have to keep fighting it for as long as I live. I will not give an inch to the government on this issue. Not. One. Freakin’. Inch.

    I haven’t become active in this particular round of the First Amendment debate because it doesn’t look like these mayors are going to get away with this. If it looks like they will make good on these threats, make no mistake: I will go balls-to-the-wall, fighting tooth-and-nail to protect Dan Cathy’s constitutional rights.

    I take exception, however, to everyone from Mike Huckabee to Sarah Palin to conservative friends of mine suddenly hopping on the First Amendment bandwagon with their “I Was Here First” tee-shirts on. What, do these people think I’m stupid or something? I have been fighting for free speech since I was 13. I’ve learned to spot a fraud a mile away. If these people are truly as committed to the First Amendment as they claim, then I goddamn well expect them to defend the rights of Muslims to build a Mosque anywhere they choose in this country, or to join me in opposing school-led prayer which flies in the face of the establishment clause of the First Amendment. I mean, here I am locked and loaded (metaphorically speaking — I don’t own a gun) and ready to fight for Dan Cathy, a man whose views make me throw up in my freakin’ mouth! And I know he wouldn’t return the favor. I’m an atheist. I know what I am to him. I don’t care. I will fight for his rights because it is the right thing to do. If you really care about the First Amendment, that’s what you do. You fight for even those ideas that sicken you.

    Unfortunately, most of the people who are tooting and bleating about Chick-fil-A’s First Amendment rights really aren’t concerned about free speech. They’re not pro-First Amendment, they’re anti-gay marriage. They’re not in favor of protecting individual liberty, they want to restrict it. I am offended by their dishonesty. If you’re in this because you oppose gay marriage, then have the guts to say so! If you don’t have the courage to acknowledge what your beliefs are, then rather than lying about them how about you walk away and examine your thinking? Huh? How about that? Leave the First Amendment fight to those of us who actually BELIEVE in free speech!

    I’m sorry, but I take this one personally. I have had people trying to shut me up for my own good since I was a kid. In case you couldn’t tell, it hasn’t worked.

    Boycotting Chick-fil-A is perfectly consistent with the First Amendment. Dan Cathy has every right to express anti-gay sentiments. He has every right to fund anti-gay-rights organizations with his money. He does not have the right to your money. You may spend your money there or not for whatever reason you choose.

    I believe in gay rights. I believe gay marriage should be legal. I believe this is a human rights issue. Nevertheless, it may surprise you to know that I would be willing to eat at Chick-fil-A even knowing what I know, if we had any where I live (we don’t), if I liked their food, and if I thought I could eat it without adding to my obesity problem. On the other hand, I wouldn’t go out of my way to eat there just to prove my free speech bona fides. I don’t believe in boycotting a business because of the views of the owners, or because of how they choose to spend their money. That puts me at odds with a number of people, including my girlfriend, who says she will not patronize a business that is known to oppose gay rights. That’s her right. That’s your right. I feel differently, and that’s my right.

    I also take issue with the idea that anyone who opposes gay marriage is a bigot or does so out of hate. I know people who do so out of ignorance. I used to be prejudiced against gays. I didn’t hate them. I just didn’t understand. When I grew up, I didn’t know any openly gay people. There were no positive portrayals of gays in the media. My religion (I’m not longer religious, obviously) taught me homosexual activity is wrong. I just needed education, persuasion, and interaction with gay people. I got all of that in college.

    Look, were I gay, I’d be very, very angry as well. It is very easy for me to call for cool heads when it’s not my rights on the line. Although bear in mind that as an atheist my rights are often under attack, perhaps not to the same extent as yours but it still sucks. Sometimes I want to tell all Christians to take a long walk off a short pier. That doesn’t do any good, any more than it does to call everyone who doesn’t support gay marriage a hater.

    Getting back to the original point of this post, I have an unusual perspective on religion. I used to be a devout Catholic until I was 16. Recently I realized that I do not believe in God. In fact as time goes by I become more and more sure that there is no God. As for the Bible, I can only say… it’s a mess. Even if I still believed in God I would not be able to accept that it was divinely inspired. The Bible contains some beautiful passages about the importance of humility and compassion, side-by-side with some really, really sick ideas. I mean, does anyone today believe lepers are cursed by God? That it’s OK to stone your wife? Or sell your daughter into slavery? If we can question those things, why the hell can’t we question what’s come to be known as the “traditional definition of marriage”? Particularly given that the Bible provides many definitions of marriage, and no guide as to which are correct and which are not. If we’re going to cherry-pick ideas from the Bible, I want to cherry-pick the ones that are about kindness, compassion, and love, and leave behind the ones that hurt people.

    As an aside, that was the point of my initial comment. I’m not sure if that came through, or if it appeared I was just being a smart-ass. Which I was — but for a cause.

    I’m going to bed. If I see this posted in the blog tomorrow I’ll know we’re both crazy.

  8. You know, I need to add something that I didn’t address in my prior post. I think the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution applies to the issue of marriage equality. Simply put, denying gays the right to marry is just as unconstitutional as violating Dan Cathy’s First Amendment rights.

    I don’t believe a boycott is the way to defend gay rights. Again, you have every right to disagree with me, and to withhold your patronage from Chick-fil-A. They have no constitutional right to your money. If I’m not willing to boycott Chick-fil-A, though, what am I willing to do? I haven’t given that a lot of thought. A lot of talk won’t do it. It’s all well and good for me to say that people need the kind of education and persuasion that turned me around, but how do we provide it? Is it enough? What do we do about making sure that politicians and judges do the right thing?

    It’s all well and good for me to talk about supporting gay rights, but words are hollow if they are not accompanied by action. Time for me to put up or shut up.

    1. The other one will be approved too I just need time to re-read it and reply to it. lol

      I have heard of places denying the KKK of things – they wanted to adopt a highway here but they wouldn’t let them. I don’t think that’s any different than CFA not being allowed to build in a city. I think the mayors should have said they weren’t welcome in their cities… not saying they were “banned”. Now everyone is worried about CFA’s rights instead of the gay rights which is the whole point of the boycott.

      I believe boycotting Chick-Fil-A is showing other businesses that they better keep their money in their pockets or towards good causes instead of supporting hate groups like CFA did, because it is going to hurt their business in the long run. Boycotting CFA *IS* educating people. I’ve talked to SO many people that are just in shock about the situation. It’s a great way to get people talking. :)

      I promise I will reply to the other reply/book you wrote some time today ;)

  9. You have now become my favorite blogger ever!! I completely agree with you! I honestly can’t trust someone’s judgment when they quote the Bible. I just can’t. Plus, the Bible does say “Men is not to lay with men as he does with women” or something like that….so if we are taking the Bible literally then God does like lesbians! Hey, there is no mention of women laying with women…so. Anywho… why can’t people simply realize that it doesn’t matter how much hate or judgement they place on someone else’s life choices, it is ultimately God’s decision to who is welcome into Heaven and who is not. Trust me, I doubt calling homosexuals faggots, etc. is giving anyone brownie points!

    1. Amen, Sofia!! And thanks for the compliment, you’re one of my favorite readers ever now too!! hehe

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