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My daughter is not a lesbian… or maybe she is.

But who the fuck cares?

My daughter Jenelle has always really liked having short hair. When she was maybe 3 or so, she asked for a pixie cut and *gasp* I let her get one. Everyone freaked out, of course, but it's just hair. She was fine. I survived (with a few tears), she survived, we were good. This was her hair as it was growing out. Awful, right? That's when I decided keeping it short wouldn't be so horrible – the in-between stage was ridiculous.

Fast forward 7 years to now. She has since had a mohawk (complete with shaved sides), and a handful of faux hawks, as well as pixie cuts. About a year ago I told her she had to grow her hair out to her shoulders, and then if she still really wanted short hair, I'd let her get it cut. For months, she let her hair grow. She hated it the entire time, but waited patiently for her hair to reach her shoulders.

She woke up one morning and her hair was finally touching her shoulders. She begged me to take her to the salon. I talked to her about the hair cut she was wanting, and warned her that the kids at her new school might make fun of her for it because they had only seen her with long hair. These are the before and after pictures of that hair cut.

Oh, I know.. I cried too. :( But just look how happy she is in the after pictures. So, anyway.. on to the point of this post. Jenelle has been having trouble with some boys at school since getting her hair cut. They're calling her a “lesbo”, among other hurtful names. The problem I have, though, are much bigger than simple name calling.

Who taught these kids that being a lesbian is a bad thing? Calling someone a lesbian (or gay) should not be an insult.

Look around you, look at society. Look at asshats like Kirk Cameron. “Homosexuality is detrimental to the foundations of society.” Er, right, Kirk. We are raising kids in a society that is different than the one we were raised in. I remember kids being called “dykes” and “fags” in school, just for the hell of it. If a girl got a short hair cut, she was a lesbian. If a guy wasn't super masculine and whoring around, he was a gaywad. If we didn't like something, it was “so gay”.

Now is the time to wake up. Look around you. Are you letting your kids say shit like “this is so gay”? If you are,

stop it!!

It's not just “kids being kids” anymore. Kids are committing suicide over this stuff. So stand up, if not for yourself stand up for me! Stand up for my kids. Stand up for all the girls that like their hair short. Stand up for all the kids that have two moms, or two dads. Stand up for all kids that are different. The boys that would rather play chess or draw than play basketball. The girls that would rather play soccer than dress-up.

Stand up for our children!

My daughter is not a lesbian. Or, maybe she is. But she's 10. She does not have a sexuality right now. She's not concerned with boys. Or girls. She likes to draw, she likes to play soccer, and she loves to help her teachers. She just also happens to love having short hair. That doesn't make her a lesbian, it makes her different, and

different is good.

Do you have the courage to be different? Do you have the courage to stand up and say hey.. I will not tolerate that type of language.. I don't care if “everybody's doing it”. You won't do it. Not in my house, not in my family. It has to stop.

girl with boys haircut

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Posted at thingsIcantsay.com

Tags : lgbtrants
Sadie Mae is an LGBT Lifestyle blogger living in Arizona with her three daughters. Her passions including traveling, healthy living, and teaching women how to work from home so they can spend more time with their kids.


  1. My mother is terrified that my son will be gay (He’s about to turn 2 years old). She went a good week asking me silly questions like “What if he turns out gay? Or a cross dresser?!” I finally got sick of it and said “If he’s gay, he’s more than welcome to bring home his boyfriends and I will still show embarrassing baby pictures just like I would a girlfriend. If he’s a cross dresser, I will buy him the prettiest damn skirts I can find.”
    To me, being gay or wearing a certain type of clothes or getting your hair cut a certain way is NOT A BIG DEAL! Doing crack, meth, shooting up heroin…I’d be way more concerned over that.
    It’s still appalling that in this day and age, being gay can be used as an insult. What is so wrong with two people loving each other in a world filled with hate, and furthermore, why do 10 year olds care? I think some parents need to watch what they say in front of their children…Hate breeds hate.

  2. Ugh! That reminds me of when I was in school, probably about the same age as your daughter (I’m 19 now) we had a new girl transfer to the school who was completely bald. Sweetest girl ever… I don’t remember her name anymore unfortunately because she wasn’t there for very long… She moved schools because she was being bullied so harshly for being a “lesbo”… And I still remember how like, no one but me would try to help stand up for her, she certainly never stood up for herself, and of course because I tried to help her I somehow became her “lesbo girlfriend” and got teased too… All I could think was like, guys, we are 10! Too young for what you are accusing us of and too old to be being this mean over nothing! I couldn’t believe the immaturity of the kids around me… We found out at the beginning of the next school year that she had had cancer, and died not more then a few weeks before school started again-so obvious now but never crossed any of our young little minds. No one ever said a damn thing about it after the teacher announced it, I was sooo mad. I went home and cut all my hair off, my mom was horrified but understood, took me to the salon to make it look like a decent pixie cut… No one talked to me for a while. What kills me is that years later when I came out as bisexual(then eventually pansexual) those same kids started teasing me again! I still can’t fathom what the hell was wrong with these kids… Wow… Mini rant! I did not mean to write that much, oops lol sorry for the tangent… It made me feel a little better so I’m posting it as is anyway…

    1. OMG. That is soooo sad. :( I’m glad you stuck up for her. You rock. <3 I'm also sorry that they teased you about your sexuality. Assholes.

  3. Good grief! This reminds me of the days when boys with hair touching their collars were called “girls.” Geeze Louise!…I really thought we’d have grown out of this sort of nonsense by now. *smh*

  4. i let my boys grow their hair long and always got asked when was i going to get their hair cut. my response was always the same. it’s just hair and wasn’t that big of a deal as long as they kept it clean. their hair didn’t define who they are even though their were some parents who didn’t want their kids around my oldest simply because they felt if he had long hair that he must be involved in drugs too. i wonder how foolish they would have felt if they knew he was growing out his hair to donate to locks of love.
    in your daughters case, the short hair is probably much easier for her to take care of and hair length isn’t worth arguing with your kids over. there are going to be far too many other disagreements between a child and parent during their teen years to be worried about something so frivolous

  5. As a straight, 5’2″, ex-mechanic- who did at one time have a short hair cut like this, believe me I heard it all. After being out of that field for over 5 years and wearing a bit of vera wang every once in a while, I still get this awkward notion of ‘dirty, lusting dike, out to get all the pretty girls with my georgia boots and man-like words’ when my past jobs come up to insecure, skill-less housewives.
    Just ridiculous to me now, but it really used to bother me. It will make her stronger, though, I promise!
    Jaime recently posted..When You Have 4 Kids, Vacations are Counted in Hours. Deftones, 1 Shoe and a Tow TruckMy Profile

  6. That’s exactly right! The more important point is that “lesbo” has a pejorative implication. These kids have the idea that being gay is “bad.” That is a societal problem that needs to be changed ASAP. And Kirk Cameron is a huge disappointment. Oh, the days of Growing Pains are gone, *sigh.
    Old School/New School Mom recently posted..The DanceMy Profile

  7. I love this post. I may not agree with the gay lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I don’t LOVE the person who may be gay. I had a best friend in high school who was gay and he got picked on and beat up big time over it. I had to stand up with him against a lot of kids several times. I felt it was horrible, and I also feel that it’s ridiculous that people are still letting “kids be kids” when we see how bad things can become as a result of it.

    I deal with people getting on my case for teaching my kids to be more considerate of other’s feelings. I deal with people who don’t see the harm of it all because they have not been directly affected by it.
    Crystal Green recently posted..Benjamin Moore Aura Paint Review–Zeva’s RoomMy Profile

    1. I hate “I may not agree with the gay lifestyle” – that is the stupidest. fucking. statement. ever.

        1. I wasn’t offended, I just wanted to let you know how ignorant your statement was. “I disagree with the black lifestyle, but I still like black people” … “I disagree with the heterosexual lifestyle, but I like heterosexuals”.

    2. When I see comments like this, I want to scream. Being Gay is not a lifestyle. That is like saying I don’t agree with the Black lifestyle but I still love the black person. It’s ignorant and actually makes people think being gay is a choice. Being with who you love is not a lifestyle and people need to stop thinking of it as such.

      As far as the haircut goes, SHE”S A ROCK STAR! That is one beautiful little girl. I happen to have 2 girls, 14 and 11 years old. They both are VERY girly and I have no clue where they got it from, certainly not me. I am the biggest tomboy. I only ever wore makeup to go to job interviews and I just got to the point that I like skirts and heels.

      Sadie, you do you and let Jenelle do her, because she is gonna be awesome! She seems confident and having a mom like you can only help her get more confident.

  8. People suck! Your daughter is a gorgeous little girl, period. Little douchebags thinking it’s funny to pick on kids and their parents saying- well hehehe kids will be kids ARE the problem. Sorry for the language, but shit like this is why I was so very vocal politically on my facebook page this election. Morals and values don’t belong to a certain religion, and douchenozzles like Kirk & his ilk are why *real* Christians get a bad name.
    P.S. My grandson will be 6 in a bit over a week. Our special thing is Hello Kitty and one of his aunties does My Little Ponies with him – who the hell decided those are “girl” things anyways like boys can’t think something is cute? His other grandmother about had a conniption, she of that special brand of christian, when she found out- and he was not quite 2 at the time- but fortunately EVERYONE told her to back the hell off or she’d not see him again. Is it any damn wonder kids are so confused and hurting? She did the same thing with the Tom’s shoes my daughter got him this year for Kindergarten, told him all the kids would make fun of him (they are unisex sneakers for crap’s sake). WTF is wrong with people?
    Sherry Conrad recently posted..TIME OUT FOR POOR SPORTSMANSHIPMy Profile

  9. Thank you for posting this. As my son enters middle school and will face these issues I am glad for you to bring it up and give me words to help him accept himself and others. I think your daughter is a super strong person with confidence beyond so many others. I am proud of her.

  10. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work.

  11. What a great mom. We have to support our children even if we are not crazy about their choices. Your children are still small but you will soon find that they have to support your life decisions everyday and they will. A family is about so much more than hair and sexuality. Your children are lucky to have such a supportive family.

  12. And *newsflash* having short hair isnt a definitive sign of gayness!

    I was a lesbian for 15 years and I’ve never had short hair. If my husband and I broke up tomorrow I doubt I’d date another man, but I Know I wouldn’t be cutting my hair!

    Good on you for letting your daughter be herself x

  13. Hi, I’m 13 and I recently got my hair cut short. I’m questioning and have been for a while now, and ever since I got this haircut I’ve been called awful names like slut, lesbo and dyke. This blog really touched me positively. Thank you for your opinions. :)

    1. I’m really sorry that you’ve been called such terrible names! *hugs*

  14. As a lesbian mom who’s two year old daughter is leaning more and more toward the ‘boy’ stereotype, I really appreciate running across this post! I know it’s older, but your daughter’s hair is awesome and it made me really think that if I’m going to let my daughter pick who she’s going to be, it may in fact involve this type of hair ;) I had before been totally against it, for my own selfish reasons. Thanks for reminding me that I DO want her to be who she is and I can’t make choices for her!
    Rachael recently posted..Hello … Are We Sure This Is My Life?My Profile

    1. Thank you for stopping by! My daughter is now 12 and I just posted a photo of her yesterday… people were like where’s the little girl with the mohawk? Where did she go?! lol She is beautiful either way and I think that’s what need to instill in our daughters! I completely understand being against it for your own selfish reason.. that is exactly how I felt!

  15. You know, I have a 5-year-old daughter who, against my wishes, got sucked in to the whole Disney princess bullshit. And I am now having to de-program her, and have adapted the mantra “pretty isn’t important” as well as showing her how beauty is really found on the inside, based on one’s actions and words, and NOT based on one’s appearance. My daughter has always looked at everyone she meets as a friend, instantly – and I’m trying to use that to my advantage. She’s never discounted a single person simply because they didn’t look a certain way.

    I think your daughter’s hair, and her decision to keep it short, are applause-worthy. From a tactile stance, I can’t stand having my hair around my neck (hot muggy Atlanta summers, yo!); yet, I’m trapped behind this ideal that I “like” long hair. Oh, wait. Maybe that makes ME a lesbian, since I’ve always felt that way. ;)

    Seriously, I applaud all three of you for her choice. Period.
    Barbara recently posted..Chalk Preschool – FREE Online CurriculumMy Profile

    1. Thank you! I feel the same way about the Disney crap. So over it. We need a Disney princess that is a rocker chick. :)

  16. Just Curious. Does your daughter still want short hair? I know this is a few years old. My daughter is almost 7 and just let her cut her hair very similar. Just wondering maybe this is more common with kids trying things out.

  17. Now Hang on here! This is a child….in ‘My Day’, not that long ago…..If you wore a dress, you were a ‘Girl’, whether you had a ‘Slit’, or not. Equally if you wore trousers and T shirt…..then you were a boy, whether you had a ‘Willy’, or not. The Youngest was the ‘Baby’ was the smallest, irrespective of age, the Daddy was the Tallest mummy was his best friend…..and so on. Actual Sexuality didn’t come into it. We were PLAYING a game! What is this ‘Current/Modern’ thinking, putting Adult interpretations on Children’s games?

  18. Hair cut is not an indicator. My daughter playedfootball (soccer) as a child but always did and still does have long blonde hair. She is gay. No-one would look at her and think she’s gay. I will admit when she first told us at 21 i was shocked and upset, for a day or two. Mainly thinking i had not been there for her and i should have been. She reassured me she was fine, she has a great job, great girlfriend and is the nicest daughter you could want. I absoultely agree its not a ‘life style’. Everything is exactly the same as anyone else, they can get married have children, they just have a same sext partner. Thats the long and short of it. This is the 21 century, and thankfully for my daughter everyone she has encountered know that. She had no negative responses.

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