Some people can be real bullies, and bloggers are no exception. There's no shortage of awful posts towards other bloggers out there, and I'm sure I've been guilty of doing it at one time or another as well. My hope with this post is that you'll see how cruel some bloggers are, and vow to never BE like those bloggers. Today's post is about one post specifically, written by Josi Denise. I realize the point of her writing the post was to be cruel, to hurt people, and most of all to get attention. Most of her posts have zero interaction, so this post has definitely accomplished what she set out to accomplish.
I'm giving Josi that attention and I'm okay with it because I hope this helps her understand why she should step back and look at herself instead of projecting onto all mommy bloggers. I'm not the only one:
Dear Josi Denise is another blogger's response to Josi's hate.
Someone Tried to Throw Us Under the Bus is a great post about how Josi's post failed on a huge level.
I'm a Mommy Blogger and I Effing Like it sums it up nicely: what you say about others, says more about you.
Josi admits her blog has sucked for a long time. That's depressing, man. Putting all that work in and still having a sucky blog will bring anyone down… but that doesn't mean you need to try and bring others down with you. Discouraging moms (or anyone!) from starting a blog is so not my thing. I want everyone in the world to start a blog! Blogging is my jam, man.
Here are a few highlights from Josi's post (unlinked, not giving her any more traffic). Hers are in quotes. My responses are below.
“NOBODY IS READING YOUR SHIT. I mean no one. Even the people you think are reading your shit? They aren’t really reading it.” – Josi Denise
People do read your shit. When you pour your heart and soul into a post, we're reading it! Your stats might not be through the roof, and they'll never compete with Pinch of Yum's millions of pageviews each month, but you have genuinely interested followers and we absolutely love you for being honest with us.
When Melody wrote about her first Mother's Day without a Mom, I cried for her. My heart literally broke. The post where Summer talks about how messy marriage can be, it's so relatable. It's real. It's raw. Katie wrote about how to save $100 a month, and while that might not seem like a lot to some, when you're trying to build credit and buy a house, it's a huge deal. Katie also writes about depression. As someone that battles depression on a regular basis, I am so thankful for her. I've made many bloggy friends (Stacie, Meagan, David, Katie, and too many to name, really.), and I love them all.
To the Mom Who Feels Defeated … this is a post written by one of my favorite bloggers, and is a must read. 5 Lies Bloggers Tell is another post where the writer is telling it like it is, but without being a total see-you-next-Tuesday about it. There's a productive way to rant, without being so mean!
My point is, we are reading your posts! Even if your post only reaches 5 people, you could change five lives that day. Don't get discouraged. You got this.
“your shit is boring. Nobody cares about your shampoo you bought at Walmart and how you’re so thankful the company decided to work with you. Nobody cares about anything you are saying” – Josi Denise
Your shit is not boring. Trust me when I say I laugh out loud when I read some of your posts. They are the highlight of my day. When Jen posts, well pretty much anything, it's almost always a guaranteed smile – or at least a head nod. “Who knew pork roast could lead to sexting?” … how can you not laugh at that? How is that boring? Answer: it's not. Even sponsored posts don't have to be boring! See: 13 Reasons Bladder Leakage is Awesome
“THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE ACTUALLY THAT HAPPY” – Josi Denise
It's okay to be happy. And it's okay to tell us all that you're happy! We also hope you share the real shit, you know, when your kid throws his plate and says he's not eating. Or when your daughter says “bitch” at preschool. Whatever it is, share with us! Let us know how your day's going… good or bad! (Exclamation points for emphasis, and also because Josi apparently hates them.)
My life is far from perfect. I try to balance it out and blog about the good (like my Coming Out Story) and the bad (like my story about Ling). I don't want my blog to be full of rants about my asshole kids, or my asshole husband/wife/etc. That's not my thing. My thing is honesty, and I do try to be positive even when I'm having a shitty day. Why? Because someone else always has it worse and I want to lift them up instead of trying to bring them down.
“every single blogger is terrified to tell the truth.” – Josi Denise
I am not afraid to tell the truth, and you shouldn't be either. Okay, so in fairness, I know that some bloggers do fluff rainbow and sunshine up unicorn's asses all day long when it comes to reviews. I'm not gonna lie, it's annoying. If this is you, stop doing it. You aren't going to lose PR companies, you aren't going to lose reviews, and your blog will not suffer if you tell the truth in a tactful way. When I read your reviews, I believe you. It's okay to be different, it's okay to say something sucks, just say what you mean and mean what you say.
A little dose of truth:
Instant Pot Yogurt Recipe – where I was reviewing an Instant Pot and it sucked, and their customer service sucked, and I told everyone about it.
Dear Absent Parent – where I wrote about absentee loser parents.
5 Reasons Miss America Should Be White – just gotta read it to believe it.
“GIVEAWAY ENTRIES ARE NOT REAL FANS” – Josi Denise
Giveaway fans are real fans. Did you know that most of my loyal readers are ones that found me from giveaways back in the day when I did giveaways all the time? If I do a thread on Facebook asking how everyone found my blog, about 25% say from Cafemom, 5% are from friends of friends, and 70% say they found me from giveaways. They will say I'm the only blogger they stuck with after the giveaway, so it does seem rare but it's possible to keep the giveaway fans. Don't be hatin' cuz your giveaway fans didn't stick around, Josi.
“YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME” – Josi Denise
You are not wasting your time. If you love blogging, if it makes you happy, you are not wasting your time. Do what makes you happy, regardless of what jealous ass bitches think.
You are valuable. Don't you dare let anyone tell you that just because you blog about this subject instead of that subject, or because you do this instead of that, that you're not an amazing blogger. You bring value to the blogging world and you've gotta keep trucking on.
Having a blog is amazing. It's opened so many doors for me and I love helping others start their blogs. I have made a full-time living from home off and on for about ten years now, because of my love for all things bloggy!
Blogging can suck. I know it's tough when you don't see the stats go up. I know Facebook interaction sucks. I know everything can suck at times, especially when you see people claiming to make $100,000+ a year and you can barely cover expenses. I know it, I get it. I feel you. Write for yourself, not for the numbers. The rest will fall into place. When you need encouragement, reach out to other bloggers that get you … not ones that want to tear you down while trying to build themselves up. Dear Angry Mommy Blogger
TLDR: 3 fast facts about Josi's post:
1 – She was a mommy blogger, and she admits to inflating her stats and lying to her readers, as well as working with companies she hated. She's a hypocrite, talking shit about bloggers writing sponsored posts yet she wrote one like… last week. And, she has ads, pop ups, and even a donation request at the end of every post! It's definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black when you wanna talk about “shitty blogs” and you have all of these things.
2 – She uses “fuck” or some variation of it at least 12 times in her post. Point being, she's trying waaaaay too hard to impress the cool kids with this one.
3 – She makes some great points, but I don't really care because her delivery was atrocious and cruel.
EFF what ya heard… your blog rocks, no matter what the haters say! Keep on keepin' on. Leave your blog link as a comment if you want. I'm always happy to find new blogs to read.