Yep… I guess I’ve been marked as THAT parent at the school. When I walk in, the secretary huffs and puffs. She knows if I’m there (and not wearing my volunteer badge or bringing cookies to pass out) that it’s not a good thing. I have had nothing but problems this year with the school my girls are going to, and I go up to the principal’s office to address every. single. one of them.
In all fairness, some of the problems aren’t the school’s fault. Some problems are caused by the bullies. Others, by my 7 year old coming home and relaying a story and me going WHAT THE HELL and rushing up there to talk to the principal about it. Most of the time, things work out. The principal knows that I’m a very involved mom, and that I’m not going to yell at her for disciplining my kids if the time comes. She also knows if my kids are getting bullied, I’ll be the first one up there making sure the administration handles it.
Today, I talked to the Vice Principal (she’s new). She pretended to care about my concerns, but when I looked away to see what was going on beside me, I saw her roll her eyes at another teacher – about me. So, while I thought she was being nice, she was just being a fake ass. Big surprise? Not really, but disappointing.
Anyway, yesterday, Grace (she’s 7) came home saying that a boy that’s been bullying her (calling her a lesbian, etc) punched her. So she kicked him, and got written up. She came home crying, saying she had to clean the bathroom every day until Halloween and also miss recess until then. That sounded pretty crazy to me, so I took her up there this morning to find out what was going on. After discussing it with the VP, who kept saying she had no idea what happened blah blah blah, I went downstairs to say bye to the kids and found the principal. Convenient, right? :) I swear it wasn’t planned. I just said hey… I don’t know why you gave her 3 weeks bathroom duty for defending herself, but I would like to chat about it some time to see how we can prevent it in the future.
She laughed. She didn’t give Grace bathroom duty. The VP said it was a scare tactic some of the teachers used. So Grace heard it from some kids at school and took it to heart when they told her she would have to be on bathroom duty through Halloween. The principal assured me they don’t have the kids clean the bathrooms – and I assured her I actually wouldn’t mind that being my daughter’s punishment IF she did something wrong.
The principal actually just gave Grace a warning. I told her I think she should miss at least one recess, so if she doesn’t miss recess today I will make sure she does on Monday (no school tomorrow).
You see, I’m not THAT parent… I’m not how the administration of the school thinks I am because I’m up there talking to the principal almost every week. I’m an involved parent. I’m a parent that doesn’t take anything at face value and if my kids come home saying something, I fact check it. Do they lie to me? No, not that I know of. But this isn’t my first rodeo, and I wasn’t a kid that long ago, so I know how shit works. I trust my girls – and will until they give me a reason not to – but I’m not the parent that runs up there flying off the handle … so I guess I lied in this title afterall because I’m not really THAT parent. :)
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by SlapDashMom
Barbara - I just wanna send you love, girl. I’ve been that parent, too. I’m also the parent who always said; “What did YOU do?” when my girls came home talking about a conflict or a punishment. You should have seen the secretary’s face the day I pulled my older daughter out of school to homeschool her. ROFL Interestingly enough, I ended up working in that school a few years later and my younger daughter had a couple of good years there. :) Just want you to know you are SO not alone. :)
Barbara recently posted..Aaachoo! So, I haven’t been around much… *cough
SlapDashMom - Wow that’s quite a story! lol I bet they’d be thrilled if I homeschooled my girls. Then they wouldn’t have someone on their asses making sure they did their job lol. I’m glad you got to work there and your daughter got to have a few good years, it’s always nice to end on a positive note. :)
Katie Hale - I dread the day I have to go to the school over my kids!!! My oldest was adopted by my parents when he was a baby. I am super involved but all of those kinds of issues fall on them. I give input. I hug, wipe tears and I stand in defense but his school won’t listen to me as I am “techinically/legally” an outsider. He, however, hasn’t had many problems/issues.
My 5 year old who starts next year – eh, it’s going to be interesting to say the least!!! Bracing myself because I WILL be THAT parent!!
Katie Hale recently posted..$1.50/1 Kid’s Boost Product Printable! HOT!!
christine k - I love how involved you are…. keep that school in check! (I would have totally called out the VP on the eyeroll…. so maybe *I* would be THAT parent?)
christine k recently posted..I guess I had it coming
SlapDashMom - I REALLY… REALLY… wanted to call her out on it… Like, it took a lot for me NOT to, to be honest. But I had already said my piece and wanted to move on. I was not in the mood to start a war lol.
SlapDashMom - I think we NEED to be “that” parent! The kid that has been bullying my girls, he doesn’t have an involved parent. He’s getting suspended and everything else. I said that kid needs some counseling, not suspension. Suspension is just gonna make him be a bigger asshole when he gets back. :(
Tara - Did you speak with your child’s teacher first? Bypassing the teacher is very insulting and hurtful to the teacher. It wastes the time of the administration. By not talking to the teacher first, through a phone call or a note, you are really destroying the relationship you have between you as the parent, and the teacher. Perhaps the relationship is already gone, since you decided to storm the administration instead of addressing the local source first. If you have a problem, you need to make an appointment to discuss the matter.
If something went wrong at the register at Walmart, wouldn’t you contact the manager first before calling corporate? That is why the VP was rolling her eyes. Follow the right channels and chain of command before you blow things out of proportion. If you didn’t receive a written notice, teachers do not report incidents on the playground to the administration.
Does the teacher send home a daily behavior sheet? If not, she should so that you stay informed about everything that happens including disciplinary actions. You trust your child, but she is only 7. If you don’t trust other adults at the school, you should home-school your child. You can’t protect your child from everyone and there are going to be bullies in life whether you are 7 or 70.
SlapDashMom - The teacher was in no way, shape, or form involved in the incident. Why would I bother her with something she didn’t witness? Way to jump to conclusions…
On another note, I’m not making an appointment to talk to the principal. :)
Addie - I also speak with the principal regarding most matters with my son. Rarely do incidents actually occur inside the classroom itself and our principle is super involved spending a lot of her day interacting with the students.
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