TMI Post: Chronic Constipation and How I Fixed It

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This is a TMI post, meaning TOO MUCH INFORMATION is shared. Obviously by the title you can tell this post is about – gasp – poop. So if you are eating, or have a weak stomach or something, read this post instead.

I know most bloggers don’t talk about their poop habits, okay.. but this is something that needs to be talked about. I know I can’t be the only one dealing with this issue – as a matter of fact I found out my friend’s kid has the same issue but nobody ever mentions this kind of thing so we’ve been friends for years and never knew! So, I’m going for it. I’m going to talk about chronic constipation, and how I’ve finally gotten a handle on it. This constipation remedy is safe for kids, too.

I have had these issues since I was a baby. I was diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) as a child, but was never given any medications to treat it. As a teen it got worse and after I started having babies I even ended up hospitalized because of it. I don’t have health insurance right now so I saved up and went to the doctor to find out what the issue was, because it was preventing me from being able to get out of bed. Going weeks without pooping is not something that is normal, and it’s hard to deal with – I was hoping this doctor would understand. She charged me $400 for the visits and to tell me to take some Miralax until I went. No joke.

I got a colon hydrotherapy session done – well two of them actually – and they cleaned me out completely. My stomach was so small compared to what it usually is! Since I only poop once every 2-3 weeks, my stomach is constantly looking about 6 months pregnant. Even when I do go, it’s only a little bit, so it never completely deflates. When I lose weight, I gain it right back because I cannot eliminate the waste that my body is producing. Nothing helps.

I’ve tried every laxative out there and nothing helps long term. It’s horrible. I’ve done the enemas, and even had them done at the hospital. One time when I was hospitalized they had to do it twice because the first one didn’t work. The nurse said she had never seen anyone with such severe constant constipation (say that five times fast!).

I am a vegetarian, so I eat quite a few fruits and veggies every day, but “quite a few” still isn’t enough to keep me regular. This week I made a smoothie, and each time I made it, it helped me go to the bathroom within 12 hours. It didn’t clean me out, it didn’t give me diarrhea, but it helped me go without hurting my stomach (or my butt! Ugh hemorrhoids!).

So, without further ado (unless you want more poop talk?), here is the smoothie recipe that actually helps me out with my poop problems. :) This isn’t a be-all-end-all to constipation problems but if you’re having trouble going, it will help.

Magical Unconstipation Smoothie

1/2 cup juice of your choice (or more, depending on the consistency you like)
1 cup ice
1 large apple (or 2 small), cored and chopped (skin on)
1 orange, peeled
5 strawberries
2 spears pineapple
1/2 cup oatmeal (more if you can stomach it)

Put all ingredients in a blender, and.. well, blend until smooth. I add the ice just to keep the smoothie cold, because unless the fruits are frozen the blender kind of warms them up a bit and then the entire smoothie would be lukewarm and gross, and you don’t want that.

This is a BIG smoothie. It filled my 20 ounce cup almost all the way up, so if you want to make a smaller smoothie or want to omit some of the fruit you can. The important part is to have the large apple, and the oatmeal. The other stuff is just for health and taste benefits.

If you can stomach prune juice, that will obviously help the process along a bit if you add it to your smoothie, but I have just been using lemon and orange juice.

 *The pictures are horrible, they were taken from my cell phone in my dark kitchen. I wasn’t planning on sharing so much information but after this smoothie helped me I figured I would pass on the info. ;)

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