Parenting can be tough. It’s even tougher when your child has… issues. I’ve been very open about Sapphire’s medical issues, her migraines, asthma, etc but I haven’t really talked about her mental health issues. She comes from a long line of bipolar folks, so it’s no surprise that she has huge mood swings but the meltdowns are what get me. Every. Time.
Eyes glazed over, not a care in the world, looking for a fight and going to be pissed if you don’t give her one. If you do give her one, it can go one of two ways: she’s satisfied that she upset you and leaves you alone, or it spirals out of control and she tries her damnedest to ruin your entire day.
She hates you. She wants you to hurt. She throws things. Kicks things. Screams bloody murder as if you’re beating her, when you’re not even within arm’s reach.
Thankfully, it only happens once in a while, usually when it’s a full moon. I know it sounds crazy, but it is what it is. But it happens. And it’s tough.
The thing is, I’ve never posted about it because I can’t handle your shitty advice. Ouch. I know.
When I post on Facebook to vent, I just want someone to say they get it. Even if they don’t get it… just pretend for one moment that they do.
The last thing I want or need when I’m dealing with a meltdown is for someone to give advice. It’s all shitty at that point because nothing helps. Once it gets to the point of her losing it, it’s over. Nothing. Helps. I’ve realized this and we just deal with it as best we can, but I can’t handle the well-meaning advice anymore.
When you have one child, and he or she is 2 years old, it literally infuriates me when you try to give me advice on my 10 year old. I know you don’t get it, you won’t until your kid is older – of if you’re the parent of an only child you may never get it, and that’s fine… but I can’t handle all of that right now.
If you see someone post about their child, whatever struggle it may be, unless they’re specifically asking for advice just do me, them, and yourself a favor: just be there for them. I appreciate the thoughts behind the advice, I just can’t handle it right in this moment. So please refrain.
Now if they say they’re at their wit’s end and need advice, go balls to the wall, y’all. Give it. All of it.
Otherwise, just be supportive. That’s all they need. That’s all I need. That’s all anyone needs. A shoulder to lean on.
No more well meaning advice. Please.