My Daughter is Not a Lesbian – Or Maybe She Is…

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***WARNING! RANT! LANGUAGE!!***

My daughter is not a lesbian… or maybe she is.

But who the fuck cares?

My daughter Jenelle has always really liked having short hair. When she was maybe 3 or so, she asked for a pixie cut and *gasp* I let her get one. Everyone freaked out, of course, but it’s just hair. She was fine. I survived (with a few tears), she survived, we were good. This was her hair as it was growing out. Awful, right? That’s when I decided keeping it short wouldn’t be so horrible – the in-between stage was ridiculous.

Fast forward 7 years to now. She has since had a mohawk (complete with shaved sides), and a handful of faux hawks, as well as pixie cuts. About a year ago I told her she had to grow her hair out to her shoulders, and then if she still really wanted short hair, I’d let her get it cut. For months, she let her hair grow. She hated it the entire time, but waited patiently for her hair to reach her shoulders.

She woke up one morning and her hair was finally touching her shoulders. She begged me to take her to the salon. I talked to her about the hair cut she was wanting, and warned her that the kids at her new school might make fun of her for it because they had only seen her with long hair. These are the before and after pictures of that hair cut.

Oh, I know.. I cried too. :( But just look how happy she is in the after pictures. So, anyway.. on to the point of this post. Jenelle has been having trouble with some boys at school since getting her hair cut. They’re calling her a “lesbo”, among other hurtful names. The problem I have, though, are much bigger than simple name calling.

Who taught these kids that being a lesbian is a bad thing? Calling someone a lesbian (or gay) should not be an insult.

Look around you, look at society. Look at asshats like Kirk Cameron. “Homosexuality is detrimental to the foundations of society.” Er, right, Kirk. We are raising kids in a society that is different than the one we were raised in. I remember kids being called “dykes” and “fags” in school, just for the hell of it. If a girl got a short hair cut, she was a lesbian. If a guy wasn’t super masculine and whoring around, he was a gaywad. If we didn’t like something, it was “so gay”.

Now is the time to wake up. Look around you. Are you letting your kids say shit like “this is so gay”? If you are,

stop it!!

It’s not just “kids being kids” anymore. Kids are committing suicide over this stuff. So stand up, if not for yourself stand up for me! Stand up for my kids. Stand up for all the girls that like their hair short. Stand up for all the kids that have two moms, or two dads. Stand up for all kids that are different. The boys that would rather play chess or draw than play basketball. The girls that would rather play soccer than dress-up.

Stand up for our children!

My daughter is not a lesbian. Or, maybe she is. But she’s 10. She does not have a sexuality right now. She’s not concerned with boys. Or girls. She likes to draw, she likes to play soccer, and she loves to help her teachers. She just also happens to love having short hair. That doesn’t make her a lesbian, it makes her different, and

different is good.

Do you have the courage to be different? Do you have the courage to stand up and say hey.. I will not tolerate that type of language.. I don’t care if “everybody’s doing it”. You won’t do it. Not in my house, not in my family. It has to stop.

girl with boys haircut

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Posted at thingsIcantsay.com

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Comments

  1. Melody says:

    Her hair is absolutely incredible! I LOVE it… Who cares if she IS a lesbian??? I don’t. She’s still a beautiful little girl who likes short hair. I actually think that she looks BETTER with short hair than long. I may be in the minority here, but it’s my opinion :0). Janelle, you’re BEAUTIFUL! Don’t let anyone tell you different, and if they do, tell them to go play in traffic. Closed minded people have very short attention spans…they’ll get over it.
    I’m sorry that she has to go through this, but at some point they’ll find someone else to pick on… The joys of being in school :( *sigh*
    Melody recently posted..Trying Times…My Profile

  2. Jenelle is a pretty little girl, short hair and all! One of my very close friends in school always had short hair like that and guess what? She’s a happily married (to a man) BOMBSHELL with short hair now that we’re adults.

    My boys will grow up around my friends who are in same sex relationships. Inevitably they will meet someone who will tell them that Momma had girlfriends once upon a time. (At that age though, my response to being called a lesbo was something along the lines of, “You’re just jealous I’m getting more than you!”)

    This sort of cruelty and bigotry is something that’s taught by closed-minded parents and it’s a poison that’s seeping from generation to generation. Eventually, someone in that line has to stand up and stop hating others.
    Determined Momma recently posted..CareOne Debt Relief Services (To Help My Fellow Mommas)My Profile

  3. Awww… having your hair short or long, or bald does not make you gay or straight. I had short hair while I was growing up-it was easier for my Mom and easier for me..lol My daughter has had short (when she was younger) and now long because she chooses to. I know many girls that have long hair and are a Lesbian so what are they ? incognito? ..lol
    Once more I wish that people would stop being so rude and mean. When the world stops judging people and selecting based on certain criteria, the world, in my opinion will be a better place. I am proud of you Sadie for being a great Mom.
    Becky Ryan-Willis recently posted..Wet SocksMy Profile

  4. That haircut shows off her face and eyes so well. Who cares what others say. I wish people would stop being so cruel.

    My daughter–she is four–has short hair right now because she took a pair of scissors to it. (What child hasn’t?) She is beautiful no matter her hair length, inside and out.

  5. Michelle says:

    I love her haircut. She looks great. My husband and I just had to have a talk with our god-daughter(she’s 10), who is living with us right now. We had to explain what being gay meant and that it is okay if a person is. It also ended up being a conversation about being yourself and not following what everyone else is doing just to have friends or be popular. We told her if she had to do that then she needed new friends who liked her for her.

    • SlapDashMom says:

      That is awesome of you, Michelle! :)

  6. Leila says:

    You are such a good mommy! And I agree that she looks prettier with short hair. I want to say ‘who cares what others say’ but being a 10 year old girl is hard. And it’s only going to get harder. But I know she has a great mom to help support her with whatever decision she makes whether it be about hairs, boys, girls, or whatever comes her way!

    What I find ironic/disappointing/annoying/etc. is that being a young girl with hair cut like that is considered “lesbo” yet any woman with a hair cut like that (or shorter) is not considered anything. For two years I had my hair cut shorter than hers (literally, we used the buzzers with the largest guard) and no one EVER said anything to me or about me. Why in the world is it acceptable for a woman to have short hair, but not a 10 year old girl!? It’s hair. People need to get over themselves.
    Leila recently posted..A to Z Challenge: K stands for…My Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      When I posted this, I almost immediately got an email from someone saying I shouldn’t have let her get her hair cut like that because “kids will be kids” and basically it’s her own fault for being called those names. I am guessing these are the types of people raising the kids I’m talking about.

      • Emily says:

        I got similar comments after allowing my stepson to paint his finger nails. (he is five) the kids at school made fun of him, and more than one person told me that it was my fault for letting him wear nail polish to school.
        Luckily, he is a very spirited boy, and told the other kids that he didn’t care if they thought that he looked like a girl, he liked it anyways. Then we looked at pictures online of boys who paint their nails and most of them are rock stars!

        • Jennifer Austin says:

          I can so relate!!! My 4yr old son thinks it’s only fair that his nails get painted too when I’m painting his sister’s. I bought this pretty shade of blue just for him!! I’ve caught some slack from it, but the heck with those people. He is just a little boy for crying out loud! Anyone who would think that a 4yr old or a 5yr old’s love for nail polish has anything to do with his sexuality, needs to have their head examined.

      • Becky says:

        You know what? FUCK them! You are her mother and she’s old enough to know how she wants to her hair, how to wear her clothes, and how she wants to be treated. Good for you letting your beautiful daughter be original and herself!

  7. I think she’s adorable either way. Kids will be picked on for anything that makes them different. It’s a very sad fact of live. As the mom of two kids with special needs, my kids were picked on a lot. It’s not OK but it’s an unfortunate fact of life and sadly some of those kids who tease other kids, turn into adults who are mean minded as well.
    Ellen Christian recently posted..Fresh Produce Stretch Broadcloth Safari Capri pants & 25% off!My Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I agree, Ellen, and it’s sad. There are just as many adult bullies, but unfortunately we’ve been dealing with it for so long that when we are adults we just have to tune them out and move on. It’s really sad to me that so many people – children and adults – are so miserable that they have to try and bring others down. :( I’m sorry your kids were picked on a lot. It’s not fair. :/

  8. Jod says:

    She looks beautiful either way! She does have gorgeous hair though!! Kids are way too mean. One of the boys at my daughters school called her “chubby”. I can’t believe how much it effected her, she lost a lot of weight because she kept getting a “tummy” ache at every meal. Kids word have a lot of impact, it truly is frightening. She’s only 8, I fear for high school.
    Jod recently posted..Save on Eversave: South Beach DietMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I’m so sorry about your daughter, that is horrible. :(

      I won’t lie, I miss her long hair. I wish she would enjoy having it long. She is cute with short hair but gorgeous with long hair. :( As long as she is happy I am happy, I guess?? lol. :)

      • Jod says:

        Yes, as long as she is happy. Hair is hair, and like others say I applaud her for wanting to be her own person and not be afraid of being different. She will do well in life! You are a great mom!
        Jod recently posted..NoMoreRack.com – Great DealsMy Profile

  9. Beth says:

    Jennelle looks adorable with both long hair and short hair. And, hair is just hair. It grows back. That’s what is so awesome about hair. Parents need to stop teaching their children to be so closed minded. And, like I said when I shared this article… it’s not up to anyone to do the judging. It’s the big daddy who does the judging. PLENTY of actresses have short hair: natalie portman, emma watson, michelle williams, PINK… so many ladies with short cuts. And, just like them, Jennelle pulls the short hair off VERY well.

    This day in age she (and no child) should have to deal with bullying when they go to school to learn and be social.

    I am glad that my daughter is going to be open minded. If she even tries to bully another kid… I will smack the bully right out of her.

  10. As you say IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!!!! Kids shouldn’t be allowed to use words, gay, lesbian, fat, ugly, skinny, tall………….it DOESNT matter!!! These parents should be ashamed and they need to catch a ‘wake up’ as my parents would say LOL!!!
    Grrrrrrr this gets me heated hehe!! And YAY TO YOU as a mother, for saying WHO CARES if she is lesbian!! You are her mother and you love her, JUST HOWEVER SHE TURNS OUT :)

    AND I LOVE THE HAIR CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Debbie/Africa’s Blog recently posted..Tanner got a boo boo :(My Profile

  11. I. Love. Her. Hair. To. Cute

  12. Jessi says:

    Absolutely perfectly said! I couldn’t agree more. The biggest problems in our society aren’t caused by who is attracted to who, how much someone weighs, what people’s interests are or the rainbow of skin tones that grace the face of this planet. The biggest problems in our global culture are most often rooted in blind intolerance, hatred and prejudice.

    When will enough be enough? How many children have to suffer? How many parents have to cry themselves to sleep at night because they don’t know how to ease their children’s pain or worse, as you said, lose them to suicide.

    Bigotry is a plague. We need a cure.

    BTW…FREAKIN’ LOVE her haircut and shower her with kudos for having the confidence to do her ‘do her way! Every mom should be so lucky to be blessed with children that have high enough self-esteems to be themselves every day.
    Jessi recently posted..Hot Deal on Playtex Bras! All Bras $13 — TODAY ONLY (4/13)My Profile

  13. Jenelle is beautiful! Tell her to stand tall and let the words roll offf her back! I agree these kids need to be taught better!

  14. Ms. Anonymous says:

    I’m keeping my name anonymous because I know a lot of you. And I applaud you. I wasn’t strong enough to take names and the such and I did try to take my life twice. I am just finally learning to be okay with me (I’m in my 30′s now) and still am confused about who I am. I wish my family was accepting. This little girl is beautiful! (I love the haircut) and she knows that no matter what direction she chooses in life that her mom loves her unconditionally. I can’t stand bullying! It should be a crime!

  15. She’s adorable- and I love that she is so insistent on doing her own thing. Good. Now, I totally agree with you on all the name-calling bullshit. It’s hard. I feel like the only thing I can do is keep telling my kids these are unacceptable things to say. I think honestly, we are lucky in that we have a lot of gay friends, so our kids get to know them and see that there are actual people behind that gayness.
    Craftwhack recently posted..HabitsMy Profile

  16. Much deserved and well said Rant! I think that her hair is super cute! AND, but the way, is a really trendy cut in the west…my sister who owns a salon had that exact hair cut forever! She happens to be married to a guy and not gay, but so what if she was. I am SO EXCITED that you have a daughter who is so confident and believes in herself so much that she takes risks to be happy in the face of MEAN people and Idiots. Dr Suess said “Why fit in when you were Born to Stand Out!” Your daughter, no matter who she falls for and loves romantically one day in her future, is going to make a big impression on this world. I wish I could give her a high five and tell her how awesome she is. “nobody said life would be easy, but they did say it would be worth it.” GOOD FOR YOU!

  17. Oh my gosh, this is such a great post. I love it. I had a pixie my whole childhood, not by choice. I mention it here (http://katiemcclain.com/the-truth-about-bullying/). Anyway, so glad I found your blog. We need more parents to help their kids be themselves and feel loved and accepted.
    Katie McClain recently posted..Love YouMy Profile

  18. When I was 10 years old, I didn’t even know what a lesbian was. That is inSANE! She is a beautiful little girl!! Short hair & all. The style of hair cut people have should NOT make them be labeled! I had short hair from the time I got my first hair cut until I was in like the 7th/8th grade.
    Jessica Cali recently posted..LotusBumz Cloth Diaper Giveaway!My Profile

  19. Tree says:

    Ahhh.. school days! I remember them well. Kids can be so very cruel! My kids are bi-racial, and we’ve taught them that what some others may say to them.. doesn’t mean a damn thing except that they are jealous of something they have or how they look! Whether your daughter grows up as a lesbian or not does not change the fact that she is a beautiful little girl with her own unique personality! Why would she want to look and act like everyone else? :) BORING! lol
    Tree recently posted..Party Time! It’s the Ultimate Blog Party 2012 with 5 Minutes for Mom (4/13 – 4/20)My Profile

  20. I think her hair is really cute. Kids are so cruel anymore. Would you do me a favor and link this and comment on my school bullying article please? I used to be a teacher for 14 years and know all too well what goes on at school. This new movie, BULLY, that’s being shown now is really reaching many kids. Maybe you can look for it around you and take your daughter and some of her kind friends. Here’s my article: http://conversationswithcarolyn.blogspot.com/2011/09/stop-school-bullying.html

  21. Sherry says:

    Thank you for sticking up for your child and for letting her make her own decisions. I understand that she is 10, but she knows what she likes (most girls do when it comes to their hair). Bullying and name-calling should not be allowed anywhere, especially in the school system.

    As for the hair – It’s AWESOME and she looks so happy. Her happiness is really all that matters, isn’t it? You are a great mother for giving your daughter the freedom she needs to grow as an individual.
    Sherry recently posted..H&R Block At Home File for FREEMy Profile

  22. Pam says:

    So, a not so funny story. Growing up I ALWAYS wanted shortish hair. Not as short as your daughter’s but maybe shoulder length. I was NEVER allowed to because my mother was afraid that cutting my hair would announce to the world that her rambunctious tomboy daughter was a lesbian. It was torture growing up afraid to ask for a trim because I knew my mother thought I was gay because I would rather roll in the mud and hunt salamanders than wear dresses and play with Barbie. At 18 I rebelled and shaved my head. It wasn’t a smart idea, but I just needed to get it out. Now I’m 30, I’m me, I’m happy, I’m about to make my 4th donation to locks of love for a total lifetime donation of 62″ of hair (because it’s just hair to me, but happiness to somebody else). Oh! And I’m happily married to a wonderful person who just so happens to be….a man. :) I think it is wonderful that you are encouraging your daughter to embrace and appreciate herself regardless of what anybody else says. Go YOU!

  23. Funny Girl says:

    Great post and supportive. Sounds a lot like this one though: http://nerdyapple.com/my-son-is-gay/

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Wow I am glad that mom stood up for her son! It’s so sad the way society is today. :(

  24. Michelle G says:

    So I ran across this post and found it a very interesting and definitely necessary read for many adults. We as parents so definitely guide our children to be leaders and not followers. I also find it very unfortunate that children use those words cause they learn them from somewhere.

    I took time to show my 11 year old daughter the last picture of your daughter and ask her opinion on it. She said it looks cute, not her style but cute on her never the less. I explained the story to her and told her what your daughter has went through and she said people are so dumb. I agree.

    I hope your daughter continues to be herself even if it means that she is different. I pray that she remains strong in the knowledge that you love and support her fully. I also pray that parents and children alike will realize that words hurt far more than most will ever know.

  25. tracie says:

    Loved this! And her short hair is awesome!! I am the proud mother of a lesbian daughter ~ who has long hair :)

  26. Being different scares the hell out of some people. Just because the “uniques” choose not to follow in a close-minded shallow ass life.. I have always hated seeing people being called anything no matter what it is. How does short hair make her a lesbian? I have always adored children, kids, and ADULT women that could pull off the pixie cut. I sure as hell can’t, but that doesn’t make me want to call the ones that can a lesbian. LOL. Some kids these days are just so shallow and rude!! Tell her to look over those kids, to be who she is, and she will feel better about it 10 years from now. She isnt going to look back and say ” I wish I would’ve TRIED the haircut at least” She already has, and ROCKS it. Thank you for sticking up for your beautiful little girl, and those who choose not to follow society’s rules of gender.!!

    Jess from Made.By.Jess
    http://sewcraftable.blogspot.com

  27. Sadie,
    I do have my courage to stand up with you and say a Loud “NO” to such obnoxious and distasteful things you described in your post.
    Love her baby, support her. Because she will grow up with the confidence that no matter what, she has the strength and self-esteem to live her life. Only Love remains. And that is exactly what she and every one of us needs.
    Thank you for your courage to share this with all of us.
    Celebrate Your Daughter Today!

  28. Your daughter rocks and so do you. This needs to be said more often. So many people turn the other way and ignore comments like “that’s gay” – all that does is perpetuate the stereotype, and that’s NOT ok.

    Being gay isn’t a bad thing. Being straight isn’t a bad thing. Being in-between isn’t a bad thing. They’re all just things. We need to teach our kids that different isn’t bad, it’s just that – different.
    Jen – Life With Levi recently posted..Rihanna Pisses Me OffMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      That’s so true, Jen. My entire post was going to be about how Nell is NOT a lesbian, but I decided it doesn’t matter what her sexual preferences are when she is older and it is pretty creepy that others would care who she will love when she’s an adult.

  29. Amanda Starr says:

    I think a lot of parents now a days are not teaching their kids empathy at all. I was bullied from preschool thru high school be it because I was too skinny, wore glasses, had braces, later was chubby, wore plaid pants with striped shirts I could go on and on. It always amazed me what came out of kids mouths! Sure kids have a mind of their own but they also learn it from somewhere and should be taught right from wrong.
    In high school I had LONG black hair but was also called lesbo, diesel dyke, butch etc Really funny thing is I’ve been with my husband since I was 13 so it was clear I was not a lesbian (though if I was I would stand proud) It’s sad that if kids have hate in their hearts and heads it will come out of their mouths.
    Now that I have a daughter (8) my number one priority was to teach her empathy and compassion for others no matter how different they may be. I get dirty looks from other moms because my daughter adores werewolves and bought her this http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/i-heart-werewolves.html shirt and she wears it once a week. They don’t bother to talk to us and find out I only let her watch age appropriate werewolf stuff (let me tell ya that is hard to find) She’s even written a short book I had published (one copy) called First Grade Werewolf because she was sad they didn’t have enough stuff for her age group or about girl werewolves.

    I think you’re awesome for letting your daughter be who she is and not stifling her creativity or holding her back. Because of what she goes through now in school it will make her an even stronger woman and she will go on to do some amazing things in life.

    I wish the world had more moms and daughters like the two of you in it!!!

  30. Ayrielle says:

    Good for you for letting your daughter wear her hair the way she wants. I had long hair until I was 5, then my mom let me get it cut…I had spiked hair in my 1st grade pictures, attempted a perm in 2nd grade, and had short hair(complete with bleached to as blonde as possible in high school) until I was like 18. I grew it out, cut it all off again, grew it out…well you get the cycle, until a few years ago and it is currently long.

    Hair doesn’t make the person. I am a happily married woman and my husband and I have 2 kids with a 3rd on the way….whether your daughter is a lesbian or not, doesn’t matter. She looks like the happiest girl in the world with her new haircut and it is REALLY cute.

  31. gloria j says:

    hi…being lesbian is set by personal sexual preferences….not your hair cut only….i like the bedhead pixie haircut…she can rock it better when she gets older and when she do as a teen those same boys who called her lesbo are going to be asking her out for dates….she’s a pretty little girl now and should be as carefree as possible….she’ll have lots of haircuts ones that work for her and ones that dont…but in the end remember its only hair and it grows back to be restyled again so tell her to have fun and not be bothered by what those little guys say….they’ll be the ones knocking at your door in a few more years…lol

  32. Melody says:

    I’m extremely impressed that the comments on this post have been positive! Maybe we are headed in the right direction-Finally! Bravo!
    Melody recently posted..You’re a LESBIAN!My Profile

  33. Emily says:

    I understand you want to stand up for your daughter and I totally agree with that and absolutely despise her being bullied, but I totally don’t agree with you calling everyone who doesn’t accept homosexuality “asshats,” just because they have a different view than you.

    “We push the message for tolerance of all people…. unless they happent to disagree with us.”
    Emily recently posted..DIY Upcycled Glass Flower VasesMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Emily, please quote where I called someone an asshat because they had a different view. I must’ve missed it. ;)

  34. Jenny says:

    Good for her! I have freakishly thick and coarse hair and kept it short (bowl cuts, unfortunately… sigh) throughout my elementary years. I had issues with being called a lesbian, by my mothers friends, mostly, even when my hair reached my elbows, simply because I chose ( and still choose) not to date very much. At 21 I finally was at my wits end with my hair, with my life, and chopped it all off.

    I would feel so much pride for that girl — she CHOOSES to be different and to express herself. I never wanted short hair, it was out of necessity. I wish I would have been more like her.

    Her expression deserves celebration, regardless of whatever sexual orientation or identification she may have and pursue later in her life.

    She’s beautiful and dammit that hair cut is adorable.
    Jenny recently posted..i’m pretty bad at thisMy Profile

  35. Kimmy B. says:

    Kudos for her daring to be different, and kudos to you for being a cool mom. I hate that there are such stereotypes out there, and I wish people would accept each other. I’m doing a photography shoot next weekend for a lesbian couple going to the prom, and when I was talking about it to my adopted sister-in-laws and mother-in-law, my youngest SIL, about 11, said “I think that’s so gross.” It made me so sad.

  36. LeeAnn says:

    I think you are both incredibly brave. And your little one is gorgeous. I have a son who is “different” in the eyes of the other kids. But he is exactly who he is and has always been,. He is refusing to change and I am so proud of him for not bowing down to pressure. He has to take a lot of teasing and “bullying” but we are working on it.

    It is a difficult road to walk down but I keep telling him we love him for who he is and that he is so very lucky! I know lots of people who are adults and still don’t know who they are, our children are lucky that at the ages of 10 and 13 they know exactly who they are, they have a strong sense of self and parents who are very very proud of them xxx

  37. Great post!

  38. What a beautiful post! All parents, teenagers, teachers, hell, all PEOPLE should read this. She’s ten, and she’s happy, and that’s all that matters. Kudos to you for being such a great mom! #LiveLoveLearn
    Megan at The Write Teacher recently posted..The Magic of ForsythiaMy Profile

  39. Catherine Danford says:

    She looks adorable! Great post!

  40. Kimberley says:

    First of all *cries* her hair is so beautiful long! But she looks so happy with it short. As for the Sterotyping, my son gets in a world of shit for using the word ‘gay’ in the wrong context. He gets his ass kicked for insulting others in any racial slur, be it sexuality, race or religion. He is to young to go into the whole sexuality discussion. But damn kids not going to discriminate against anybody, cause he knows that I will make his life hell for it! P.s I want her hair colour!

  41. Alicia says:

    I’d never let my daughter get hair that short. she will dress and act like a girl because she is one. as for Kirk, I went to his marriage event last month he is an amazing man of God with a lot of good advice and is someone i look up to. Being gay is a sin. Read the bible. 1 man + 1 woman.but the girl is 10, not 17 so not like it’s gonna do much for haircut so w/e

    • Leila says:

      I am a woman, married, two kids. “Straight” even though that is TOTALLY irrelevant to this point. I cut my hair even shorter than this. I prefer to wear jeans and a t-shirt rather than skirts, dresses, etc. Does this mean I am not a girl/woman?

      You are clearly missing the point of this post.
      Leila recently posted..A to Z Challenge: L is for Life as Leels (Duh!)My Profile

    • Melody says:

      Alicia… maybe u forgot how to read.. in the Bible Jesus says “Beloved let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God. He that loveth not… loveth not God because God is love.” First John 4:7-8. He also commanded us to love uncinditionally. So I think maybe you and kirk should spend more time reading about love and less time judging… smh

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, Alicia. I am sorry that you wouldn’t let your daughter get her hair cut if that is what she wanted. It makes me really sad for her. :(

    • monica says:

      i feel bad for your daughter then. she’ll never develope her own personality and tastes because you are always pushing what you want on her. children are only that for a short period of time so why not let her explore now? hair can grow back and clothes can be changed its nothing thats going to set who she is in stone. intolerence is a very ugly thing and the sooner people realize this the better off we’ll all be.

  42. Angela says:

    Awww….she’s so cute and sassy with that hair. I love the no-fuss of a short cut and have worn many short cuts over the years. Kids just say and do stupid things. I have a nephew who many of the kids at school say is gay because he is a little different (he wears black and plays the guitar which would be normal in a city but we live out in the country). He has a new girlfriend and now the kids are saying she is a lesbian which makes no sense at all. All your daughter needs to know is that kids say stupid things that often makes no sense at all. She’ll be fine…she has a cool mom. :)
    Angela recently posted..The Muppets Named New York City’s Family AmbassadorsMy Profile

  43. Chris says:

    Love this post! You are my kind of Mama! You’re daughter looks awesome! My daughter has always marched to her own beat. She refused to wear dresses at 2 1/2 and I have honored that for 10 years! We’ve gone through different stages of hair, currently it is very long. You’re giving your daughter the best gift, the opportunity to figure out who she is & how she wants to express herself. BRAVO!

  44. Memorie says:

    I love it! Her hair is hers let it be her expression. I dont let my boys say those things, never have. I never felt words like that should be used in a hateful way. Being gay or lesbian is not a bad thing. Cudos to this mom!

  45. melody says:

    God also said “Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God. He that loveth not, loveth not God because God is love.” First John 4:7 and 8…. so you and Kirk are wrong… God called us to love unconditionally. Maybe you should go back to church and read up on love a little more and judge a lot less… Just sayin

  46. missy says:

    Your daughter is absolutely adorable… and you are the best mom ever. Really. To let her be herself… to encourage her to express her individuality without judgement is the best gift you can give her. She’s a very lucky kid!

  47. Your daughter is gorgeous with shoulder length hair and with short hair. I grew up in the 70′s when long hair was in, I had hair down below my butt and I absolutely hated it! My mom wouldn’t let me cut it the way I wanted it, until I was 10. I have had short hair ever since, and I’m not a lesbian. Some girls just don’t like all the fuss and the irritation of long hair. People that can’t understand that should just get over it. There are much worse things in this world than short hair on a girl.

    I applaud you for letting her be different. The world needs different.

    Bravo!
    Theresa J recently posted..Current Giveaways and ReviewsMy Profile

  48. Beverly says:

    I’m a 60 year old grandma, and I think her haircut is adorable! It is only hair, and she may, or probably, will change her mind before she grows up. Gay/straight is irrelevant at that age. Or any age, for that matter. We are all different, and we are all wonderful. If Jenelle is happy, that’s what matters.

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Thank you, Beverly! I totally agree. Sexuality isn’t even an issue at age 10. Or at least it shouldn’t be.

  49. olivia rubin says:

    luvyour post, my mom qlways says only some people can get away with short hair, u and halle berry! thats what she tells me. your daughter is beautiful, go tell her how f-in gorgeoues she is.

  50. olivia rubin says:

    oh and what productdoes she use? i use Got 2 Be Glued.

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Yep she loves the glued products!

  51. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful! Kids are just cruel.
    When I first saw her new haircut it reminded me of that chefs hairstyle- Anne Burrell (I think her name is). She has written cookbooks and is on the Food Network on a few programs. Your daughter can just tell them she is an Ann Burrell protege and she already started her first cookbook :)

    Hugs,
    Anne from Good Steward Savers! :)
    Anne L. recently posted..Save over $10 with Kellogg’s Coupons!My Profile

    • I forgot to say, when I was 10 years old, I got a short haircut because I was on a softball team and all the girls had short hair because it wasnt as hot wearing the caps on our heads. I was with my mother when we went to pick up her drycleaning and the person behind the desk said “You have a good looking son” LOL. My mother said “Thats my daughter.”
      Anne L. recently posted..Save over $10 with Kellogg’s Coupons!My Profile

  52. I got a hair cut like that when we first moved down here to Louisiana. Very cute. Teaching our kids at a young age that whatever they decided to do or become is just fine :) (or find out they are) You’re an amazing mother!
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  53. Oh, her haircut is too cute. I think kids are getting meaner nowadays.
    Diane N – Philzendia recently posted..How a Toothbrush Sparked A Bathroom Organization FrenzyMy Profile

  54. I am so sick of people being judged by their appearances. My step-son has longer than usual, shaggy hair and do you know how many times I’ve heard people tell me to tell him to get a haircut? I could care less about his hair as long as he washes it! What really bugs me is the double standard is that no one tells him that he’s gay because he has long hair. But people rush to pass judgment on your daughter? Ridiculous!
    Sarah BB @ East9thStreet recently posted..Kid Friendly Flag Pizza By Clare CrespoMy Profile

  55. Michelle Macaluso says:

    I cannot even believe the ignorance of some people! My daughter is 14, and has recently told us that she is interested in boys and girls. We have no problem with that and she has always known that. I think that is why she was able to come out to us at such a young age. I can’t believe that kids are so cruel to call someone a lesbian just because their hair is short. Your daughter looks beautiful! I love her hair, in fact mine is now growing out from a similar haircut that I kept for 2 years. My daughter has hair down to her butt lol People are crazy I tell you!

  56. Amanda says:

    I’m so sorry for what your daughter is going through. I hope that over time people will become more loving and less hateful. I do think in many ways society is becoming more accepting of differences. I just wish we would hurry up and get there more quickly. We really shouldn’t have to be dealing with this kind of ignorance in 2012. Wake up already, people!

  57. Heather says:

    First, she is absolutely beautiful! That is a haircut I would totally consider. I grow my hair out and then every few years cut it all off to donate to locks of love.

    Second, I hate the way kids treat each other. My son has been bullied his whole life because of his weight, which he has been under a doctor’s care for since he was 8. It breaks my heart when a kid is hurt like that. Just keep teaching your daughter to be strong in who she is so she has the confidence to tell them to bite her. Lol maybe not quite like that, but you know what I mean.

    There are so many women who wear their hair short for the same reasons that women wear their hair long. Tell her we all think she is absolutely gorgeous!!!
    Heather recently posted..It Is RainingMy Profile

  58. I applaud your daughter for wanting short hair. Who says being a girl means we have to be hair obsessed? I like her individualality. As long as she like it tell her to ignore those creepy kids who mock her, soon they’ll get tired of doing it.
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  59. Melissa Charleston says:

    I’m proud of your daughter for having a strong mind, knowing what she wants and having the courage to go get it despite what anyone says or thinks! We should all raise our kids to be like that. She will go far in life, and will probably grow up to be the boss of all of them some day…ala Bill Gates.

    On another note, my 16 year old daughter has always hated it when she had short hair, prefers it long and is a lesbian. Hair is the last thing that would point in one direction or the other, in my opinion.

    Kids are cruel, but they have to learn it from somewhere, right? Odds are either the parents or siblings of those kids have passed their ignorance on to the younger ones. Very sad, really.

  60. I LOVE YOU! You can’t see it, but I’m clapping! smiling and plastering this post all over… You rock mama! Raise her to be confident and tolerant… always
    and her hair… tell them to get bit… (there, an old 80′s saying I miss) If SHE loves it, WHO THE FUCK CARES! It’s HER hair ;) Good for her!
    Ronni Keller – Grandma Juice recently posted..AppGear Augmented Reality Toys For iPhone iPads and Android DevicesMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I absolutely love that Grandma Juice said “Who the fuck cares” on my blog! LOLOL. Thank you! You’re awesome.:)

  61. Kristin Gilbert says:

    I love your style of writing. She is adorable, and long hair would make her no different. I wanted short hair when I was young because I had to do everything my brother did. I am not a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that. ;)

  62. Phoenix says:

    Your daughter’s beautiful. Thank you for supporting her to look & love however & whoever she wants.

  63. I think her hair is cute and anyone thinking about a ten year old’s sexuality should probably get some professional help. She’ll grow into who she is to be and that will be who she is, not anyone’s problem or business. I can’t stand people robbing others of their joy just to feed their own hang-ups. You did well by giving her the room to grow Sadie, family matters and everyone else can get bent.
    Brian D. Hawkins recently posted..Market Your Blog Within The Blogging CommunityMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      THANK YOU, Brian… seriously! That was the entire point I made the other day when I was talking about this. Whoever is thinking about a 10 year old’s sexuality needs professional help. Game, set, match.

  64. Ann says:

    Why should this even be a topic of discussion? Why can’t we teach our children to just respect people regardless of how they look? I hope no one laughs at your daughter, she is a beautiful little girl!

  65. Kelly says:

    Oh people! My daughter’s hair is short. Not quite as short as Jenells, but she wanted it. Not like she was asking for a tattoo at 9 years old! Gah!

  66. diane says:

    It drives me NUTS that kids today use the term ‘gay’ as an insult. My son is 12 and just started middle school, my daughter is 10. We have had open discussions with them about homosexuality and how no one should be judged, hated, picked on or otherwise looked down on for who they choose to love. You hit the nail on the head when you said that these kids are LEARNING this behavior from somewhere. If parents would teach their children empathy, acceptance, and compassion this would not be an issue.

    That said, my daughter REALLY wants to cut her hair short and I wont let her :) I SOOO love her long hair! Maybe I will reconsider and let her express her individuality a little bit.

    And who the heck says that only women with short hair can be lesbians? Really? I know a few with beautiful long hair….

  67. I love her hair and she is beautiful just the way she is. I have had really short hair for a very long time. People used to be really nasty to me too. Funny considering I am not nor have I have been interested in the ladies. Even if I had been, it is not a reason to spread hate. If my girls should choose to have short hair, so be it. It doesn’t make them any less of a female. I also let them play with monster trucks and dinosaurs if they so choose. The stereotypical gender rolls laid out by society are bullshit, and we will have no part of them in this house.
    MamaBennie recently posted..Like MommyMy Profile

  68. I am with you… re: hair — it grows back. It’s something in your world you can experiment with… it’s not worth fighting over. And I like the cut she chose – so “different” it’s beautiful.
    Johannah recently posted..WAHM Blog Design GiveawayMy Profile

  69. Sarah says:

    If you really loved your daughter, you wouldn’t mind if she turned out to be a lesbian. So what if she might love another woman when she’s older! It’s perfectly natural, and if you want to be a decent mother, you will get over your homophobia and accept it may be the case.

    And if you try to change her, well, it proves you don’t love her enough to allow her to be happy and love whoever she wants.

    • Sarah says:

      Whoops! Disregard that; I didn’t read the whole post… Sorry!

      • Sarah says:

        Wait , of you are saying you do not want your daughter to turn out as a lesbian, then disregard the second comment but not the first..
        And then stop worrying about a TEN YEAR OLDS sexuality…

  70. Cynthia Brooks says:

    My 10 yr old daughter has imo beautiful reddish blonde hair. And when she was younger from 2-4 and I controlled her hair cuts, or lack of hair cuts lol. So I just had her have long curly hair. Now that my daughter is older though, she prefers functuality over a long hair style. She looves short hair, and to be honest, I cringe a little when she wants to get super short hair but nonetheless, I let her. I should send you pictures on facebook. Seems like my 10 yr old and your 10 yr old have something in common. They don’t care what others think and they love ttheir short hair cuts!

  71. Jeanne says:

    Now I know why I follow your blog. Wow. That’s a good post. Off to share.
    Jeanne recently posted..My Mom is losing it!My Profile

  72. Hi “Sadie” I can’t help but love you-your so honest about yourself and life-Your little girl “Jenelle” is a very cute girl-and all the more power to her for wanting to sport a hair cut of her liking- long hair is so hard to keep up- I have hair down to my buttocks and it’s very high maintenance. Back to your little girl-If short hair is what she wants-good for her and your a awesome mom for embracing her and allowing her to do so. I like your way of thinking “Who f ‘ ing cares” If only more people were like that and just lightened up a little and allowed people to express their likes this world would be a better place. It’s like this if my looks hurt you-then I’d really hate too see you after I really did something to hurt you-not that I promote abuse in anyway-but you get my point- I hope??? And besides all that-who ever said just because I choose to wear my hair short, long or crazy is a direct reflection on you. I think it’s great at her age to have an opinion of her own-and whether she is gay, lesbian or straight is her business and who ever else she decides to share that part of who she is with . I enjoy your blog and I think your Awesome- Thanks

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Thanks, Shanon! :) I appreciate your awesome response and yes I definitely get your point. <3

  73. Tracy says:

    I love her hair!!! I could never pull it off, but she does so wonderfully. I have caught m y kids saying things like “that’s so gay” and immediately made them stop. I don’t think they realize yet how detrimental it can be to a person. My sister says it all the time and it makes me cringe. I am not gay, but I completely support gay rights, and things my family and friends say makes me want to puke at times.

    Best of luck to you and yours!

  74. Kirie Broberg says:

    You know, I have red hair and for more than half of my life, it’s been really long. However, there were some points in my childhood and teenage years that I just wanted it really short. Recently I got a pixie cut because I was just tired of having long hair. Everybody loves my new hair cut and says that I actually look my age now! Which is great, because it means that less people will be thinking my husband is a cradle robber, haha! Lots of friends even tell me I look like a mom now, which I take as a compliment. Not once have I had a derogatory comment made to me about my pixie cut. I am so sad that your daughter is having kids be mean to her at school. I am so glad though, that you are a loving mother and willing to stand up for your daughter (as any loving mother should)! It is sad to know that most kids become bullies because they learn the behaviors from their parents or because they learn it from other people and their parents refuse to correct it. I hope things work out well for your daughter!

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Congrats on the new cut! :) Thanks for the kind comments!

  75. Rizzo Tenderheart’s mom here…The length of one’s hair does not define us. Our heart and soul does. Your baby girl is gorgeous long hair or short.

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Aw, thanks for stopping by! Say HI to Rizzo from Isis!!

  76. Kelly says:

    You need to realize that who a girl is at 10 is much different than who a girl is at 20. When I was 10, I was very tomboyish, and loved having short hair. Now, I love my long hair and wearing dresses! Kids change!

  77. monica says:

    in march i completely shaved my head for st baldricks and all the money i raised by getting my head shaved benefitted the organization, fast forward a few months and my hair was growing out into an honest to goodness faux hawk all by itself! i LOVED it!! i dreaded the growing out process but loved what i ended up with. i got all the horrible looks and comments but the day one of kids told me i had a “gay” haircut that was it!! i feel bad now but i completely lost it on my kid. i sat him down and told him that he had family members, even though he didnt know it at the time, that were gay and they didnt have “gay” haircuts. i told him its not a term to use just because something is different or they dont like it. i wish people wouldnt preach their hate and intolerence on kids. they are our future and what we teach and preach is their exampleand if its hate and intolerence then thats what they learn. as for jenelle she is a beautiful young woman and as long as she is comfortable in her own skin and body thats all that matters and she is most definitely rockin her hair so good for her!!!

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I would LOVE to shave my head! But I’m afraid it’s lumpy or something LOL.

      I think that even though you felt bad about freaking out, your child will always remember it! Thank you for the compliments on Jenelle. :) Now if she’d just CARE enough to fix her hair, I think we’d be good. Right now it’s just a mop on her head lol.

  78. Renea P. says:

    Her hair looks awesome short!! I want to know who told those boys that having short hair means your a lesbian? and you are right, who the fuck cares?!?

    Your kids are awesome and absolutely amazing. I’m glad they have such great parents who stick up for them, and don’t just shrug the bullying off!

  79. Bruce says:

    Things that matter:

    What is the character of the individual in question? Is this someone you like being around? Are they good company? Are they concerned about the world around them? Are they fair? Are they constantly lying to those around them? Are they intentionally hurtful? Do they help those around them whenever possible?

    The list goes on for quite some time, but these are the questions that need to be answered and they are the only types of questions I need to find the answer to before I make any kind of decision about an individual. I don’t care what their gender is, nor do I concern myself with their sexual orientation. I don’t care if they dropped out of high school or have multiple PhDs. None of this makes a bit of difference to me. I want to know if they will help those who need it; if they value education, music and art; if they can hold their own in a conversation on the topics that concern everyone and are not so shallow that all they can do is regurgitate the rumors circulating in the gossip rags.

    There are so many things in this world that matter – or at least should matter – to everyone on the planet. Sexual orientation is not one of them. Not now, not ever. And once more people pull their head out, the easier it will be to solve the real issues that face all of us on this tiny rock in space instead of squealing in horror, “OMG, she likes GIRLS!!”

  80. Dawn says:

    well, my child is transgender so I can certainly understand & sympathize with your hatred of labels that other kids spew out over every difference. My child learned to be tough before he was really ready to (back when he was a she just learning that he was not what he appeared to be on the outside). Kids can be so cruel. I don’t think short hair means anything. Almost every kid I know has chopped off their own hair when the were little (I guess its a great way in a kids mind to experiment with scissors). I had super short hair when I was little & I’m happily married to a man. On the other hand I have a friend who always had super long hair & is happier with her own sex so, what does hair length say? Absolutely nothing!

    • SlapDashMom says:

      That’s all very true!

  81. Rebecca Orr says:

    Awesome post!! Love her hair too!! Trust me, if I had different facial features, I would totally be rocking that hair cut myself!!

  82. Tara says:

    People are asshats, what can I say? My 9 year old prefers shorter hair too. She hates the way hair feels on the back of her neck. I’m the same way & *GASP* I am married to a man! It would never dawn on me that people might think a young girl is a lesbian because of her hair. (or any age for that matter!)

  83. Kristy H says:

    I LOVE this! Love her haircut, love that SHE knows what she wants! I have a 9 yr old daughter, and it kills me to see her trying to conform to what her “friends” want her to be. My Husband always tells her to be herself, and do what she chooses to do, but I still see her feeling like she has to be like the other girls. And I always say to myself, I must be getting old, when I say this, but Kids these days just don’t get it! They don’t understand how much words can hurt, how much they can destroy a child with name calling, etc. Yet, it’s always the kids doing the name calling and bullying, that when called out, are all about pointing fingers and blaming everyone else. I guess we as parents need to try to be there as much as we can for our kids, and let them know we will always stand behind them, and hopefully guide them in the right direction!
    P.S, Tell your daughter she looks amazing, like a little rocker chick, just love it!!

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Thank you Kristy! :) It’s awesome that your husband is supportive of what your daughter wants. Many times you hear about the father not wanting the girls to have short hair, or the boys to have long hair, and pushing that onto the kids.

  84. When I was teaching I never let this happen since it was bullying. People should lighten up and let kids be kids. It’s there hair let them do what they want! I think she looks adorable both ways and that smiles is worth a thousand words! My husband would get comments like this when we were in high school. He is the opposite – he is a guy and has long, beautiful think hair that is about 15 – 16 inches long. He keeps it in a ponytail and it’s what he loves! He originally did it as a bet but found he loved it! Now, he also does it just see how people react. If people want to judge him, they are obviously missing out!

    I think too many parents think of their kids as little dolls to dress & play with. It’s their body, let them do what they want. Some things I think need a little steering until they get to a certain age (tattoos, piercing, etc – I don’t think a 8 year old need a clitt piercing or a real tattoo).
    Susan Bewley recently posted..Blankz ToysMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      That’s so cool that he ended up loving the long hair! :) I agree with you completely!

  85. I LOVE her hair! The crappy thing is that doesn’t necessarily stop when you’re an adult. I HATE long hair on myself, and when I got my current cut, my own brother told me I looked like a dyke. I asked him what he’d do if I was and called him a few choice words.

    Mack doesn’t look good with long hair. Every time we cut it short, she looks GREAT. And she FEELS great. I say do what makes her happy.
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  86. My daughter was 4.5 when she got her first pixie cut… she’d had lice and she had always been a bit of a brat about getting her hair brushed, so when I offered to take her for a short haircut… she jumped at the chance… I honestly thought she looked incredibly cute… and so did she… until someone called her ‘sonny’ She grew her hair out … fought with me for ages… and finally cut it short again… loving it until she got teased… She is now 14 and has ‘girl curves’ … and she takes care of her own hair now… but we were talking about it the other day that she’d like to go short again… after Christmas…
    and this time she’ll just laugh at the people who can’t deal with it and tell them they need an eye exam or a brain scan… gotta love resilient kids!
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  87. Andrea says:

    I LOVE THIS! First of all, yes, I’d probably cry, but she looks so so beautiful and so happy, that yes, I’d get past it! But my kiddo is only 5, so I think she’d regret that choice – and I only let her get a haircut this year (like last month!).

    As for the mean kids, gawd, I hope their parents are reading this. So sad. So sorry that this is how they speak/react. They totally are learning this from someone and somewhere and it’s wrong.

    Sigh.

    I haven’t read all the comments yet but I love that there are so many! And I hope every single one of them is favorable. :) Way to go you!!
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  88. My daughter loves her hair short too. She also loves dolls, dinosaurs and tutus. I hate that 1) gay etc is used as a slur and 2) our kids can’t just be kids. I just want to yell at the world LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE!
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  89. Every child has a right to be happy.
    Every child has a right to be WHOMEVER they WANT to be.

    The look on her face after her hair cut says it all. She is happy with it.

    I pray she has the strength to continue being the person she wants to be.

    Stopping by from PYHO
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  90. Shell says:

    She looks so happy with her haircut! I hate that so many judgments are placed on kids when all they are doing is making a simple choice like how they like their hair or what they want to wear.
    Shell recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Gone in an InstantMy Profile

  91. I absolutely LOVE this post. I am a firm believer that gender and sexuality are fluid. It doesn’t matter whether your child’s hair is long or short. It’s about what is on the inside. Your daughter’s fun-loving personality really shows through her hairstyle as well as her eyes. I’m so glad that there are moms like you in the world who allow their daughters to be who they want to be. ~Xiomara
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  92. Tina says:

    I have two younger sisters. One favored short hair and ‘boy’ clothes. The other wore more girly things, was way into doing her hair and even had a few boyfriends. Guess which one turned out to be a lesbian? Yup. NOT the one who dressed like a boy.
    The point is: a haircut, how they dress and what toys they play with won’t make them ‘catch the gay’. It’s sad that people think this way. My daughter will be taught tolerance and respect for everyone. No matter what she grows into or how she chooses to live her life, I always have her back. Plain and simple.
    Tina recently posted..Grow Up Already! -Rant-My Profile

  93. She looks adorable with long hair and short hair. And I speak as a fellow pixie-lover – I cut my hair short-short 18 months ago and can’t see myself ever going back. I’ve been told numerous times that I “rock” short hair and that it’s my “signature look.” Of course, I realize the stigma is different for a 37YO mom than it is for a 10YO girl, but it shouldn’t be – short hair can be beautiful and feminine at any age.

    And yes, I’m very cognizant of the words I and others use as insults in this day and age. IMO, saying something is “gay” or “queer” or is no better than using the word “retard” in a derogatory nature. In context, none of these words are “bad.” But used out of context? They’re horrible.
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  94. Vikki says:

    Last year, my daughter (who was 6 at the time) cut off her long hair and got a Mohawk. Since ten, she has kept her hair short and has started dressing in sporty shirts and t-shirts like her brother. She has been teased too but refuses to change the way she looks. As a parent, it’s hard. As a lesbian mom, it’s even more complicated.

    It’s important to keep in mind that gender expression and sexual preference are two very separate things. Unfortunately, many people in our society are not educated regarding such nuances.

    May our daughters always have the strength to be themselves.
    Vikki recently posted..Tuesday TunesMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Wow, I never thought I would hear of another little girl wanting a mohawk, that’s cool!! Thanks for sharing your story.

  95. Kerri says:

    What a cool little kid and what a great mom! It is admirable that such a yound child knows who they are and what they want. It is applaudable that you let her shine and make her own choices. She is a beutiful girl and you can tell she is sweet with that big smile of hers.

    It is appauling how individuals treat one another, children and adults. There is so much hate and judgement, when will there every be acceptance and love. This world needs to get itself in check, we are forgetiing how lucky we are and what really is important. Love one another, it is that simple.

  96. Joe says:

    You’re daughter looks beautiful, long or short hair!

    There is a learning curve for being able to put yourself in anothers shoes. Kids, are just learning to interact with eachother and will eventually learn what it feels like…in a healthy society. But in a society where parents are so eager to jump down another’s throat, are provacative in their words and actions, and who let their tounge’s escape in demeaning dialogue, it is no wonder that kids never learn about what it feels like. They are always on the offensive.

    Ultimately, when you understand that you can’t control others and force them to do the right thing, you’ll see how important it is to understand that you and others can say stupid things that people just won’t agree with or may find offensive, but you don’t need to let your life be ruined by it. You have to move on.

  97. jessica says:

    I am 25 years old. I work with a Bunch of Girly Girls. I went into work the other day and all i heard was ” ewww what did you do to your head ” i said ” your right this is MY head,and you don’t need to worry about what I do to it”. I have a “Side Shave” ( I’ve had it for the last 6 months and they just clued in) I guess the Grown women at my work are not mature enough to accept the fact that i’m different. It pissed me off, If i didn’t need this job i would have quit right at that moment. Anyways, It’s not just kids that need to be taught how to treat people with respect. Its A LOT of Adults too!….~~ Your Daughter is so Beautiful! I love how she loves to be different. Like me! :)~~

  98. shannon says:

    I have to say that what saddens me most of all is that your daughter is being called such usgly names.one doesn’t have to agree or like someones life style to be adult about it (no matter your age) and keep your nastiness to yourself.

  99. My beautiful soon to be eighteen year old girl currently has her head SHAVED. Know what? She looks adorable. She is straight. She believes people should not be judged for who they love. She plans to grow her hair back in, but in the meantime, we are going to wax her brows and wear funky make-up. Because we can. I got a lot of flack when the girls were smaller because I allowed them so much freedom to explore who they are and we are definitely a funkier family (dh aside). Please let your little girl know we love her and think she is wonderful for being herself, just the way she is.

    • SlapDashMom says:

      Thank you! You should like an awesome momma!!

  100. Abbi says:

    Our son,who is 13, had a very good friend move away a few years back. Well, the boy moved back and stayed the night at our house. Logan was so happy to have his friend back. A few days later our older son told us that Logan’s friend told Logan he was gay so I decided I’d talk to Logan about it. I asked him if it bothered him his buddy was gay and his response was “Why would it?” He said he felt bad for his friend because other kids make fun of him for being openly gay. I was so proud of him for not caring. He doesn’t care what other people think, he has always been friends with this boy and always will be. I guess I’ve never looked at anybody any different just because of their preference to gender. It just doesn’t matter to me. I think it all starts with us as parents. We need to teach our kids not to hate.

    BTW, I love the short hair!!! I actually just talked to my husband about getting my hair cut off. I am kinda a butch looking woman anyway so I know what short hair will make me look like but I don’t care. By golly if I want short hair then I’m going to have short hair and the ones who want to judge can kiss my butch butt:)

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I love that your 13 year old wasn’t bothered by his friend being gay! Most boys that age would freak out. And congrats on the short hair, it’s very empowering! I miss mine! :)

  101. My mother is terrified that my son will be gay (He’s about to turn 2 years old). She went a good week asking me silly questions like “What if he turns out gay? Or a cross dresser?!” I finally got sick of it and said “If he’s gay, he’s more than welcome to bring home his boyfriends and I will still show embarrassing baby pictures just like I would a girlfriend. If he’s a cross dresser, I will buy him the prettiest damn skirts I can find.”
    To me, being gay or wearing a certain type of clothes or getting your hair cut a certain way is NOT A BIG DEAL! Doing crack, meth, shooting up heroin…I’d be way more concerned over that.
    It’s still appalling that in this day and age, being gay can be used as an insult. What is so wrong with two people loving each other in a world filled with hate, and furthermore, why do 10 year olds care? I think some parents need to watch what they say in front of their children…Hate breeds hate.

  102. Alanna says:

    Ugh! That reminds me of when I was in school, probably about the same age as your daughter (I’m 19 now) we had a new girl transfer to the school who was completely bald. Sweetest girl ever… I don’t remember her name anymore unfortunately because she wasn’t there for very long… She moved schools because she was being bullied so harshly for being a “lesbo”… And I still remember how like, no one but me would try to help stand up for her, she certainly never stood up for herself, and of course because I tried to help her I somehow became her “lesbo girlfriend” and got teased too… All I could think was like, guys, we are 10! Too young for what you are accusing us of and too old to be being this mean over nothing! I couldn’t believe the immaturity of the kids around me… We found out at the beginning of the next school year that she had had cancer, and died not more then a few weeks before school started again-so obvious now but never crossed any of our young little minds. No one ever said a damn thing about it after the teacher announced it, I was sooo mad. I went home and cut all my hair off, my mom was horrified but understood, took me to the salon to make it look like a decent pixie cut… No one talked to me for a while. What kills me is that years later when I came out as bisexual(then eventually pansexual) those same kids started teasing me again! I still can’t fathom what the hell was wrong with these kids… Wow… Mini rant! I did not mean to write that much, oops lol sorry for the tangent… It made me feel a little better so I’m posting it as is anyway…

    • SlapDashMom says:

      OMG. That is soooo sad. :( I’m glad you stuck up for her. You rock. <3 I’m also sorry that they teased you about your sexuality. Assholes.

  103. Mary Beth Elderton says:

    Good grief! This reminds me of the days when boys with hair touching their collars were called “girls.” Geeze Louise!…I really thought we’d have grown out of this sort of nonsense by now. *smh*

  104. terri morgan says:

    i let my boys grow their hair long and always got asked when was i going to get their hair cut. my response was always the same. it’s just hair and wasn’t that big of a deal as long as they kept it clean. their hair didn’t define who they are even though their were some parents who didn’t want their kids around my oldest simply because they felt if he had long hair that he must be involved in drugs too. i wonder how foolish they would have felt if they knew he was growing out his hair to donate to locks of love.
    in your daughters case, the short hair is probably much easier for her to take care of and hair length isn’t worth arguing with your kids over. there are going to be far too many other disagreements between a child and parent during their teen years to be worried about something so frivolous
    .

  105. Jaime says:

    As a straight, 5’2″, ex-mechanic- who did at one time have a short hair cut like this, believe me I heard it all. After being out of that field for over 5 years and wearing a bit of vera wang every once in a while, I still get this awkward notion of ‘dirty, lusting dike, out to get all the pretty girls with my georgia boots and man-like words’ when my past jobs come up to insecure, skill-less housewives.
    Just ridiculous to me now, but it really used to bother me. It will make her stronger, though, I promise!
    Jaime recently posted..When You Have 4 Kids, Vacations are Counted in Hours. Deftones, 1 Shoe and a Tow TruckMy Profile

  106. That’s exactly right! The more important point is that “lesbo” has a pejorative implication. These kids have the idea that being gay is “bad.” That is a societal problem that needs to be changed ASAP. And Kirk Cameron is a huge disappointment. Oh, the days of Growing Pains are gone, *sigh.
    Old School/New School Mom recently posted..The DanceMy Profile

  107. I love this post. I may not agree with the gay lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean I don’t LOVE the person who may be gay. I had a best friend in high school who was gay and he got picked on and beat up big time over it. I had to stand up with him against a lot of kids several times. I felt it was horrible, and I also feel that it’s ridiculous that people are still letting “kids be kids” when we see how bad things can become as a result of it.

    I deal with people getting on my case for teaching my kids to be more considerate of other’s feelings. I deal with people who don’t see the harm of it all because they have not been directly affected by it.
    Crystal Green recently posted..Benjamin Moore Aura Paint Review–Zeva’s RoomMy Profile

    • SlapDashMom says:

      I hate “I may not agree with the gay lifestyle” – that is the stupidest. fucking. statement. ever.

      • I wasn’t trying to offend you or anyone else for that matter. I do disagree with you, but we have that right to disagree.
        Crystal Green recently posted..Gift Giving Rant From the Man of This HouseMy Profile

        • SlapDashMom says:

          I wasn’t offended, I just wanted to let you know how ignorant your statement was. “I disagree with the black lifestyle, but I still like black people” … “I disagree with the heterosexual lifestyle, but I like heterosexuals”.

    • Breia says:

      When I see comments like this, I want to scream. Being Gay is not a lifestyle. That is like saying I don’t agree with the Black lifestyle but I still love the black person. It’s ignorant and actually makes people think being gay is a choice. Being with who you love is not a lifestyle and people need to stop thinking of it as such.

      As far as the haircut goes, SHE”S A ROCK STAR! That is one beautiful little girl. I happen to have 2 girls, 14 and 11 years old. They both are VERY girly and I have no clue where they got it from, certainly not me. I am the biggest tomboy. I only ever wore makeup to go to job interviews and I just got to the point that I like skirts and heels.

      Sadie, you do you and let Jenelle do her, because she is gonna be awesome! She seems confident and having a mom like you can only help her get more confident.

  108. People suck! Your daughter is a gorgeous little girl, period. Little douchebags thinking it’s funny to pick on kids and their parents saying- well hehehe kids will be kids ARE the problem. Sorry for the language, but shit like this is why I was so very vocal politically on my facebook page this election. Morals and values don’t belong to a certain religion, and douchenozzles like Kirk & his ilk are why *real* Christians get a bad name.
    P.S. My grandson will be 6 in a bit over a week. Our special thing is Hello Kitty and one of his aunties does My Little Ponies with him – who the hell decided those are “girl” things anyways like boys can’t think something is cute? His other grandmother about had a conniption, she of that special brand of christian, when she found out- and he was not quite 2 at the time- but fortunately EVERYONE told her to back the hell off or she’d not see him again. Is it any damn wonder kids are so confused and hurting? She did the same thing with the Tom’s shoes my daughter got him this year for Kindergarten, told him all the kids would make fun of him (they are unisex sneakers for crap’s sake). WTF is wrong with people?
    Sherry Conrad recently posted..TIME OUT FOR POOR SPORTSMANSHIPMy Profile

  109. Amber says:

    Thank you for posting this. As my son enters middle school and will face these issues I am glad for you to bring it up and give me words to help him accept himself and others. I think your daughter is a super strong person with confidence beyond so many others. I am proud of her.

  110. Marketing Money says:

    This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work.

  111. Myra says:

    What a great mom. We have to support our children even if we are not crazy about their choices. Your children are still small but you will soon find that they have to support your life decisions everyday and they will. A family is about so much more than hair and sexuality. Your children are lucky to have such a supportive family.

  112. Tara says:

    And *newsflash* having short hair isnt a definitive sign of gayness!

    I was a lesbian for 15 years and I’ve never had short hair. If my husband and I broke up tomorrow I doubt I’d date another man, but I Know I wouldn’t be cutting my hair!

    Good on you for letting your daughter be herself x

Trackbacks

  1. [...] being called a “lesbo” because she wanted to have a short hair cut (see the full post here).  It got me thinking about the young son of a good friend of [...]

  2. [...] was reading my friend Sadie’s blog yesterday, My Daughter is not a lesbian, and I started thinking…Where to begin?  Why is being called a lesbian such a negative [...]

  3. [...] some people have to judge others. Sadie over at Slap Dash Mom recently wrote a post about how short hair doesn’t make her daughter a lesbian. Our kids are still little. They don’t know what their sexual orientation is yet. In fact, they [...]

  4. [...] It has been spread around quite a bit, but in case you have not caught it, you can read it here: My Daughter is Not a Lesbian. It really is a great post. Please, read it. I’ll [...]

  5. [...] a recipe on how to make ice cubes. The comments are FREAKING HILARIOUS. (like I said, hilarious)My Daughter is Not a Lesbian – Or Maybe She Is…: From SlapDashMom, her daughter is called a “lesbo” for having short hair, which brings [...]

  6. A lesbian at 10?! Who the fuck cares? | Mommy Blogging Misfit says:

    [...] saw a post from Slap Dash Mom about her 10 year old daughter being bullied for wanting short hair. Kids in this girls class were calling her a lesbian and a dyke and other hurtful names. I take [...]

  7. [...] It has been spread around quite a bit, but in case you have not caught it, you can read it here: My Daughter is Not a Lesbian. It really is a great post. Please, read it. I’ll [...]

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