Everyone knows when you get a group of women together – online or off – you will have drama. Even if we are all grown women, with children, and all working towards similar goals. Even when we should be building each other up instead of tearing each other down, it just happens. Drama. Drama. Drama.
For as controversial as my blog can get at times, I feel I’ve done a fairly decent job at avoiding the drama for the most part. I love my fellow bloggers and while we don’t always see eye to eye, I still help them in any way that I can. When someone asks questions, I answer them. I don’t always know the right answers, but I try. Many other bloggers are the same way. They’ve helped me out so much, and lord knows I’ve asked enough questions.
But one thing has been rubbing me the wrong way about a certain situation where someone makes everything about race. Any time there is a post by this someone for other bloggers, it’s for Latin bloggers or African-American bloggers. Rarely does she post something that is inclusive of Caucasian bloggers. I get that opportunities come for certain people at certain times. And I get that white people had it easy for years when others didn’t, but excluding us now serves what purpose, exactly? To divide us??
I joked about wanting to be let into the “white bloggers group” (knowing one didn’t exist, and in the same sentence as asking about “lesbian blogger groups” or “tall blogger groups” because I am 6’2″), and got called racist and jealous. I’m not jealous of those opportunities, I just wonder why in the world any brand would want to exclude someone because of their race? That’s not very politically correct… and you know businesses these days need all the brownie points they can get – with every race.
According to Miriam Muléy, founder of the 85% Niche, collectively, African-American, Latina, Asian, and other ethnic women are the largest niche, 85% to be exact. Muley, who has done extensive market research on marketing to women of color, states that women of color are the quintessential market and encompass 54 million of Americans. – This information was taken from The Niche Mommy’s Blog.
So wait. If white folks only make up 15% of mom bloggers, that would mean I’m a minority, right? And as a minority, I’m being passed up because of the color of my skin?
Didn’t someone famous (and non-white) once say that he wished everyone would be judged by the content of their character instead of the color of their skin?
Judge me by the content of my blog, by my talent, by my personality. But do not judge me because of the lack of pigment in my skin.
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Why is it okay to say “Looking for Latina bloggers”, but not “Looking for Caucasian bloggers”? It’s great that brands and businesses are including other ethnicities, but as they apparently make up the majority I am wondering why they have to specifically seek them out?
Why can’t we just be “seeking good bloggers”? Why can’t I be judged based on my writing skills, my blog design, my reader numbers? Why does it have to be a race thing?
The Niche Mommy’s blog talks about a diverse conference – for everyone. This conference is all inclusive! They do NOT discriminate based on race, even though some would like to make you think they do. The blogger I mentioned earlier, well, she said “diverse is not talking about religion, it is ethnicity”. This blog talks about the true definition of diversity, and dictionary.com tells us diverse basically just means “different”. The Niche Mommy Conference is about diversity… about being different… and while culture, ethnicity, race, etc are considered diverse… so are other things.
So, based on the stats above, if 85% of the mom bloggers are non-white, then me being white is enough to make me diverse. Yet this certain blogger seems to think I’m not diverse because I’m white.
Nevermind that I’m a non-christian lesbian living in the bible belt, blogging about whatever the heck I want to – even if it gets feathers ruffled….
That’s not diverse at all in the Mommy Blogger World, right?
So, what does diversity mean to YOU?
I’m diverse, damnit!! *stomps foot* I know I should not let one person get me upset about such a silly topic, but I’ve always been very different… and now I’m being told that I’m not diverse enough because of the color of my skin? Yet I don’t necessarily fit in with the people that are “my color”, because I’m not one that fits inside the box. I don’t like people telling me where I don’t fit in at. It’s rude, and I needed to get that off my chest.
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by SlapDashMom
Determined Momma - It’s unfortunate that it comes to this sometimes. I could understand if it was for a product that only some races are likely to use (like some hair products), but in general it should just be the same across the board.
Determined Momma recently posted..Steps Toward A Healthier Me
Jessica - That is awfully silly to make opportunities only available for certain races. But like you said when you get a bunch of women together it’s DRAMA. I try so hard to support other bloggers/women even if I don’t get it back, I know it’s the RIGHT thing to do and will eventually pay off. I have had a similar experience with one ‘blogger’ in particular and she just came off as such a condescending bully but I kept on doing my best to support her.
Jessica recently posted..Wishlist Wednesday #5
SlapDashMom - Jessica, it’s very nice of you to keep supporting someone that comes off as such a condescending bully. I tried that route for a while but now I just try the ignoring route instead. I’m sure everyone has that “one” blogger that they just clash with, ya know? I really just dislike things being made about race when they should just be about blogging. Leave the race out of it. I wouldn’t want someone to get excluded because they’re non-white… just like I don’t want someone to be excluded because they’re white. It is insulting to judge me on the color of my skin instead of my talents.
Ellen Christian - I think that we should all be judged by the type of person who are not the color of our skin. That should be true if your skin is white, green, blue, black brown or purple.
Ellen Christian recently posted..Wholesome Nutrition in Quaker Soft Baked Bars
Beth - Being diverse has NOTHING to do with ones skin tone, or at least it shouldn’t. I believe that someone who is diverse is open to many different CULTURES.
Each and every blogger works hard, why should a company say, “We are only looking for ___________ bloggers.” Base it on my writing, my content, and not my skin color.
Beyond all, I hate when the race card is pulled because someone feels they DESERVE something. Earn it.
Oh and ps. Whites were slaves too in the early 19th century England.
Beth recently posted..Reviews: Five Finger Tees
The Mommy Chronicles - While I can see the need for a specific race to guest blog if the blog or post had something to do with something only that race could identify with, to only request a specific race all the time is racist, in my humble opinion. As a white woman, I know nothing about African-American hair, so if I were writing a blog about it, or something along those lines, I’d ask specifically for African-American bloggers to help. If I were writing about Latina women in the entertainment industry, I’d ask Latina Women to write their opinions on how they were being represented. If I were writing about the influence soda has on your diet, why would I specify one race group? To me, that’s silly. Now, if I were writing about white people’s view on how other races were treated, then I’d ask for only white people. You see where I’m going with this, I’m sure.
As a member of the blogging community (though not a household name like a lot of people), I would feel offended and shamed if I was being left out of a generalized blog simply because I’m white. We have enough racism in the world, let’s not being it to the blogging community as well.
The Mommy Chronicles recently posted..Oh, The Joys of Being A Parent
Diane N - Philzendia - I have participated in opps where the brand sought out people of color, but looking at it form the brand perspective, I don’t think there’s a sinister reasoning behind why they targeted a specific group. I think they targeted certain people merely because of the product, or because their aim was to attract more of the non-white market. For instance I did an opp for a hair relaxer system. Makes sense that they would target non-whites because although I can’t be certain, I think hair relaxers are mostly used by non-whites. I did another opp for a high end cosmetic store where they felt that they were not reaching the non-white market because people in that demographic group have expressed that they were not finding products that catered to them. The store made some changes and wanted to use bloggers to show that they made changes. Companies are trying to grow their business and there is a really big push right now to target the Latino community. Here’s an article that addresses this – http://www.adweek.com/sa-article/finding-gold-hispanic-marketing-130612 There are hundred of similar articles like this on the net. It’s definitely a trend that is not likely to be going away anytime soon, because brands want to keep on making money! Sorry for writing a book!
Diane N – Philzendia recently posted..Electrolux Oxygen Ultra Air Cleaner – EL500AZ Review
Jessica - I ended up unliking/unfollowing/leaving all groups she was in because it became too much. She was aggressive and I just didn’t want to deal with it any more. I gained more confidence and my blog is growing quicker now. Negative energy is no good!
Just keep on doing what you are doing and don’t let it get to you! You are awesome!
Jessica recently posted..Review – 39dollarglasses.com
Ashley - 10 bucks says I know who your talking about because I had the same problem with her and lots of other bloggers do too. Its not always about race!
SlapDashMom - I agree, I think I need to write a post on positive energy. :) I’m sorry you had problems with another blogger, it sucks that we can’t all just help each other get to the top… like crabs in a barrel, pulling each other down instead.
I know this post isn’t exactly positive LOL but it’s been brewing for over a month now so I needed to get it out.
Erika @Musings From a Stay At Home Mom - Well said, Sadie. I love that you have the guts to come out and write an article like this that no one else will. I completely agree. ‘Nuff said. :)
Erika @Musings From a Stay At Home Mom recently posted..Summer Fun For Kids Event – Mouth Man Animated Hoodies {Giveaway}
Johannah - Well said. I think that people who limit their scope, by avoiding any group – need to sit back and think again. This country was formed by foreigners – as diverse as one can imagine, and it stands to reason that in may ways each of us is unique. Maybe she just used the word diverse as an euphemism for what she really meant – No Caucasian people allowed.
Johannah recently posted..Food Lion Returns – Why?
Melody - Right now, I think that we should remember that she was talking out her ass. I think that many companies would be giving themselves the kiss of death if they decided to cater to only one or two races. If we look at reality (I don’t know specifics, so uh, Google if you need proof lol), we ARE the minority here. There are more people of other races living here than there are whites now a days. Go be a telemarketer and call California. Tell me how many people answer with “Hello” rather than another language. NOT VERY MANY. Now, don’t take that as me saying “ZOMG, we’re being overrun with non-white people!” and running away. Nope, that’s not me. What I *AM* saying is that we’ve been the minority for a while, even though some people (not you), would love to believe that we’re in the majority.
Okay, back to the subject here. Someone needs to explain to this person (idiot), what the word diversity means. There is diversity in race, as in just about everything else. Just because you’re Latina, African American, Chinese, Japanese, etc doesn’t make you the only race or culture being allowed to go somewhere when that place says they’re having a “diverse” conference. It means different. I have diverse music tastes, I have a range of friends who aren’t the same. That means that I’m diverse in that as well.
I’m so sick of people throwing race in MY face when I’m not doing the same. I am in NO way racist, and never have been, but if you don’t want me to throw my WHITENESS In YOUR face, then kindly keep yours the same way. We can be friends (or not) without saying “But I’m WHITE!” I don’t see color when I look at my friends, so it shouldn’t be an issue anywhere.
Now I’ll step off my rambly soap box and go on my merry way…
Melody recently posted..Is It Okay To Be Fat?
Tiffany Cruz - I consider myself very diverse and I’m caucasian. I’m married to a non-caucasian and my children are a nice diverse mix of the both of us. We cook multi-cultural food, speak broken Chomorro and are often sent junk mail in spanish because of our last name. I think just about everyone is America is diverse. This is the great “melting pot” after all. It’s sad that people are still so far behind in their thinking. This was a very well written post. I just knew you were going to blog about this. Great job Sadie.
Tiffany Cruz recently posted..FabNab.com Earrings for Belleza (Review and Giveaway)
Kat B. - I agree with you 100%. Personally, I feel diversity shouldnt be about skin tone at all. I am White Dutch and Irish and as pale as they come but I dont feel that it affects me as a blogger. If I wanted someone to judge me on something other than my writing abilities, I would let them judge on the fact that we are atheist in the Bible Belt, that we are pro-choice and pro gay marriage, that I came from a family so poor that for several years in the winter all we ate was potatoes and I never ate out at a real restuarant until I was 11. Or that I graduated in the honors class despite having a child in 11th grade and got 3 college degrees with a 3.95 GPA. Thats the stuff that defines me not the fact that I was born into a white family.
Kat B. recently posted..Rizzoli & Isles Season Two on DVD NOW!
Amanda - Fantastic post! Oh, and I don’t know what exact request you’re referencing, but it seems to me that if someone is looking for a group of Latina (or any other specific type of) bloggers… they’re not looking for diversity… they’re looking for the opposite of diversity… they’re looking for a group of people who are all *like* each other not different from one another (a.k.a. diverse).
Amanda recently posted..Piczzle Photo Puzzle Review & Giveaway
Meagan P - Sunshine and Sippy Cups - EXACTLY! :)
And here’s another point that bothers me… I would be incredibly offended to know that a company was putting together an advertising campaign with a goal of appealing to white women, as though somehow I’m different than other women based on my race. Why would a brand have to make ads or do blogger outreach to build new campaigns, based on skin color? That seems like it’s more divisive for everyone in this country. Why should ANYTHING be based on skin color? As a Hispanic, wouldn’t you find it racist that a brand thinks you are so different than other moms, based only by your racial background, that they can ONLY make a good campaign to reach you by using other Hispanic bloggers?
I just don’t think that we’re all really that different…. And yes, once you make a conference only for people of a few races, it becomes the exact opposite of diverse :)
Meagan P – Sunshine and Sippy Cups recently posted..Nature’s Sleep Memory Foam Mattress Giveaway! #nsmemoryfoam
Nicoyle - I can see if the company or whoever is looking for a specific “group or niche” for said product or something, but to the person who thinks diversity is that, should review the definition again. Diversity is something of differences and not just race alone.
Nicoyle recently posted..Get Your Morning Started on the Right Track
crapatcrafts - Human beings categorise. We catagorise by looks and personality, shapes and colors, its human nature. However, we are more than our nature. Reverse racism (and thats what we are talking about) is not better or worse than any other kind of racism and you are right to call it out.
Your a lesbian, im not. I don’t feel like I shouldn’t read your blog or that you don’t want me to read your blog or its not germaine to me because we have different tastes in the bedroom. I would hope you wouldn’t avoid my blog because I’m English, or straight, or for any reason other than you don’t enjoy it.
Without wishing to sound like the dreadful secret hippy I am, can’t we all just concentrate on the similarities and not the differences?
crapatcrafts recently posted..Easy Wall Art
Jessica - Better to get it out then let it build and build! Like you said, now you can focus on positive :)
Jessica recently posted..Review AND giveaway! – 39dollarglasses.com
Should White Women Attend Blogging Conferences for Women of Color? | Bicultural Mom™ - [...] Read her post here: It’s Because I’m White, Isn’t It? [...]
Chantilly Patiño (@biculturalmom) - This post didn’t sit well with me at all. I’m in total agreement with you that you are a diverse mom blogger and I’m sure you’ve felt like you’re outside of the mainstream community for a long time, as I have. One thing I really didn’t appreciate about this article though, is that it veers off topic and demonizes groups created specifically for women of color and brands that are partnering with bloggers of color.
The thing to remember, is that most of these brands only catered to white bloggers until very recently and it’s because of efforts by empowered Latinas and Black bloggers who have drawn attention from brands onto these long unnoticed markets. I’m glad that brands are targeting Latinos and multicultural consumers, because it means that they’re finally thinking about them.
I also love that groups for bloggers of color exist, because their is strength in numbers and it’s necessary because discrimination and exclusion are a part of their reality.
While I don’t agree with what this woman said to you, I don’t think that it warrants an attack on groups that foster unity, empowerment and racial solidarity.
Thank you for speaking your mind, but please don’t forget the other side of the convo.
Chantilly Patiño (@biculturalmom) recently posted..Should White Women Attend Blogging Conferences for Women of Color?
SlapDashMom - I’m happy you stopped by my blog, but I’m wondering where you got information that I attacked anyone? Obviously, exclusion is part of my reality too, or I would not have needed to write this post.
But, coming from a white woman who says things like this on her blog “i prefer non-white friends” and constantly attacks white people, I guess I could see why you’re lashing out. You’re so used to attacking, that you assumed I was, too. I wasn’t. :)
Tim - Welcome to the world of reverse racism and out of control institutionalized multiculturalism. We are no longer the melting pot of “e pluribus unum”. With our numerous hyphenated cultural distinctions and various pride parades it has become apparent that there is more of a desire among many in the race hustling community to ensure that race will always remain an issue. Race baiting is big business. Trayvon martin was not about a person being shot, it was about a black person being shot. Nevermind that all the evidence shows that Zimmerman was justified in defending himself against someone who was assaulting him, the fact that the dead man was a 17 year old black thug is glossed over as we are bombarded with images of a 12 year old who just wanted some skittles. Our society has become more and more fractured along racial lines because that is where the business model dictates that it should be. Sharpton and Jackson and their ilk are not the men of the cloth they portray themselves as. They are two of a large number of instigators whose entire livelihood relies on convincing everyone that the country discriminates against blacks and the only way to rectify that is to give the two of them money.
Mickey Coutts - My thought is that even though brands want to target specific demographics for ad campaigns, *openly* choosing a Hispanic blogger over a white one isn’t necessary going to get the result they want and will certainly upset a lot of people in the process. Case in point, several months ago we kept hearing from a lot of the Latina bloggers about amazing opps they were getting that we weren’t eligible for because we’re white. Many of their blogs? Every bit as “white” as ours. Exact same followers, similar crafts, similar photography, similar posts. It was ridiculous and so unfair. Maybe I should change my last name…?
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